How to stop thinking about your Ex? Pick a card!

Choose A Card:

Exes can be a common source of frustration. True, there are troublesome exes of every gender, but honestly: we men can cause quite a bit of trouble. Hence, this article is written in feminine form but applies to everyone. Maybe you're still thinking about him, maybe you feel like you're meant to be together, and it just isn't happening. Maybe the relationship never really began, but you got attached quickly, or you're sensitive, and this specific guy captured your heart. Either way, this spread is for those who know deep down they need to move on and want to understand what to do this week to strengthen themselves and let go of the wrong guy. Whatever happened, it's time to move forward.

Choose a card—1, 2, or 3—focus, breathe deeply, think about the card that calls to you, and check its message. The truth? Even if you want to read all the messages, that’s perfectly fine too.

Card One: Three of Wands – Find Support

The first message is simple, steady, and true: don't face the difficulty alone. Share, talk, and most importantly, surround yourself with people who truly value you. Sometimes, the wrong relationships harm our self-esteem. We adapt to their worldview to fit into the relationship, seeking shelter from the world, but in doing so, we often sacrifice our personal power and lose sight of who we truly are and what we're worth.

This week, it's crucial to restore your self-worth—independent of your ex! He doesn’t define or determine who you are. He doesn’t give your life meaning. Only you can do that, along with those you consciously choose to include in your life. He’s out of your life now because he likely didn’t provide you enough value, didn’t celebrate you, and didn’t make you feel important enough—and that’s unacceptable.

In addition to seeking encouragement, hugs, and love, focus on activities that make you feel good about yourself without seeking anyone’s approval. Study something you love, dress in ways that make you happy, and actively reignite your enthusiasm for life. A mantra to repeat this week: I am ready to receive the support of my good friends. I remember who I am, I recall all the good within me—and I bring my best self to life.

Card Two: Six of Pentacles – Don’t Give More Than You Receive

The Six of Pentacles is often a lucky card. It appears when we receive opportunities to realize our potential, when someone simply likes us for who we are and offers us a genuine and heartfelt chance—whether in career, love, family, or elsewhere.

What does this mean for you? Now is the time for a simple math exercise: how much have you received versus how much you’ve given? Who cared more? Who showed more love? Who was more committed?

Your emotions and thoughts are valuable assets. Pause to think about this statement for a moment. Redirect your energy inward—toward yourself. Stop giving unnecessary time and energy. Invest in yourself. Literally—buy yourself something, invest in studies, nurture your body. Reclaim your energy and focus it back on yourself.

Your next partner must be someone who has something to give, who wants to give, and who is ready to give. Think this week about a character from a movie, someone you know in real life, a neighbor’s spouse, or any other example of a giving, invested person. Use them as a model for what you’re looking for. Make it clear to your subconscious: This is what I want to receive. Even if I don’t know where he is or whether I deserve it—I want and am ready to accept such an investment from a partner.

Card Three: Judgment – A Slow and Steady Process

The most important thing is to first recognize that you’ve made progress, that you’re in a better place, and that each passing day brings improvement. Moving on is a gradual process, and it won’t happen all at once.

Not every pang of longing is a sign to call your ex or try again. Missing him is part of the "detox" process—it comes in stages, with ups and downs. That’s natural and okay.

Additionally, it might be time to start dating again, take chances, step outside your comfort zone, and meet new people. Judgment reminds us to replace one process with another. Find something to channel your energy and time into, so your energy doesn’t flow toward thoughts of your ex. Redirect your available relationship energy into a more productive path. Take each day as it comes and make small steps forward.

One day, probably soon, you’ll suddenly realize you’re in a much better, higher place—that you’ve moved on.

A possible weekly mantra: I’m getting stronger every day. I’m on it, and the healing is happening all the time. Soon, I’ll see that it’s behind me.

The author is Sagi Mendelboim, Director of the School for Personal Fulfillment Studies, Tarot, and Dreams; author of the bestseller The Guide to Tarot Reading; a practitioner of classical homeopathy with 30 years of experience teaching and conducting courses and workshops on personal development, Tarot, and dreams via Zoom, in Tel Aviv, and other cities across Israel.