'The Wagamama Bride': A geographical, cultural, and spiritual journey - review

In her new book, The Wagamama Bride: A Jewish Family Saga Made in Japan, author Liane Grunberg Wakabayashi takes us on a fascinating journey, not just geographically but culturally and spiritually as well. Born in Montreal, Liane grew up in New York and studied at Massachusetts University. At Sussex University in England, where her mother`s family lived, she studied art history. She says it was there that she learned to be a writer. Later, she obtained a degree in art administration from Columbia University.

As a gifted writer and artist, her memoir is both graphically described and professionally written, using all the senses to paint a picture of life in Japan, a land so far from home.

Working as a journalist in New York, Liane is sent on an assignment to Tokyo to write a series on the Japanese trend of siting art exhibitions in department stores.

While she is there, she looks for a Jewish community and makes friends at the Jewish Community Center. She had always found comfort from natural healing methods and fell in love with the methods of the White Crane Clinic and with her shiatsu teacher, Ichiro.

Ichiro’s traditional Japanese family give a warm welcome to Liane, and they organize a lavish wedding for the couple at the Imperial Hotel. Liane’s parents are less enthusiastic but they attend the wedding, following it up by organizing a Jewish ceremony.

Struggling with restlessness in Tokyo

As time goes by, Liane spends more time with her in-laws than with her husband, as he works long hours to bring home little money. Her in-laws bail them out from time to time, and her mother-in-law teaches her many Japanese skills, such as flower-arranging. The writer’s restlessness increases with her fertility issues, but after six years she gives birth to a daughter. Her husband is still frequently absent, but she is supported in a way most mothers would dream of, with her mother-in-law doing all the cooking and laundry. While this might sound intrusive, Liane truly loves Ichiro’s parents.

Nevertheless, her search for something deeper sends her to find a cottage in the quieter countryside, hoping to find peace outside busy Tokyo. Her daughter misses her father, Lianne feels isolated, and eventually they move back home.

The eureka moment comes when she hears about the Chabad House in Tokyo. She is embraced by the rabbi and rebbitzin and spends Shabbatot there with her daughter. Although the rebbitzin has a large family of young children and runs the Chabad House with its traditional hospitality and outreach, she always has time for Liane, listening to her, teaching her Torah. When Liane tells her she longs for another child, she is told to go to the mikveh. Without no mikve in Tokyo, the observant women use a secluded beach where they will not be seen dunking naked in the sea. Liane immediately gets pregnant and delights in the birth of her son.

Her return to Orthodoxy drives a wider wedge between her and Ichiro and eventually they separate, albeit on good terms with him and his family.

Inevitably, her next step is to Jerusalem, where she feels spiritual fulfilment. Ichiro accompanies her the first time on a family visit but feels out of place. But Liane feels that she has come home. By this time, her children are teenagers and manage to keep their love and warm feelings for their father intact as they travel back and forth to visit him.

While the story flows and readers want to know what happens next, there are some repetitions and the text could have been a little more condensed.

The story ends in Jerusalem, but this reviewer met Liane in Haifa, where she now lives and writes freelance articles, including for The Jerusalem Post. She also gives workshops on Genesis Art , a philosophy of seeing the goodness in another`s art which helps you see more in your own. Genesis Art offers steps to artistic refinement through a process of refining our thoughts and word choices; in other words, “be non-judgmental.”

Liane had a very pragmatic answer to my question as to why she left Jerusalem. 

“Simply economics,” she replied. “I did not want to continue renting and could not afford to buy in Jerusalem. I enjoy Haifa very much. It’s a beautiful green city, but I do miss the enormous availability of culture and learning of Jerusalem.”■

• The Wagamama Bride
• Liane Grunberg Wakabayashi
• Goshen Books; 2023
• 250 pages; $16.95
• Available from Amazon or directly from the author: Lianewakabayashi@gmail.com