Beyond the battlefield: How a summer camp is mending broken hearts

Sarah and Yona Ben-Nun lost their brother, the late Captain Shlomo Ben-Nun, 22 years old and a deputy company commander in the 202nd Battalion of the Paratrooper Brigade. He was killed in northern Gaza on November 16th, 2023. 

A few days ago, they returned from a special summer camp experience in the United States, the Friends of the IDF (FIDF) “Legacy” program. The group consisted of Israeli teenagers ages 12-13 and counselors all of whom lost loved ones in battle.

“The camp helped me cope better with the situation and gave me strength. I also heard stories from other children and learned a lot from them,” said Sarah, 12, from Modi'in, who is entering eighth grade and was a participant in the camp.

Her brother, Yona, a 21-year-old soldier in the parachute brigade who served as a counselor on the trip, said: “During the camp, I began to feel that these children were like my little siblings. Watching them flourish gave me a deep sense of meaning and a great feeling. I intend to stay in touch with them.”

The Legacy group, which included Sarah and Yona, is part of FIDF’s Legacy program. This program brings Israeli children or siblings of fallen soldiers to the United States for a 10-day summer experience, either at a traditional American summer camp or on a road trip.

This unique initiative provides the opportunity for bereaved children to find joy, friendship and support from fellow campers and counselors who have experienced similar losses and struggles. The camp’s goal is for participants to enjoy precious moments of happiness away from the grief that has enveloped their families, while also providing them with the support and community that can help them process and cope with their loss. Officers from the IDF’s Casualty Unit accompany the campers throughout, and the counselors themselves are graduates of the program.

FIDF works directly with the IDF as its US partner. It was established 43 years ago and has 25 chapters throughout the United States.

The organization raises funds to support the well-being of IDF soldiers through various initiatives, including educational and cultural activities, the IMPACT! Scholarship Program, financial assistance for soldiers from low-income families, aid for bereaved families, support for lone soldiers, help for wounded soldiers, financing “recharge” weeks for combat units, and the renovation and construction of welfare buildings. The Legacy program is one of their most important and meaningful initiatives. 

"Classic elder brother"

The late Shlomo also participated in another one of the organization's activities, joining an FIDF delegation to Poland last year for Holocaust Memorial Day. In a touching photo from the delegation (above), he is seen saluting Holocaust survivor Ben Midler from San Diego, who returned the salute. 

“We were three siblings; Shlomo was the eldest,” says Yona. “He was the quintessential big brother, always taking care of his younger siblings.”

Before Sarah was born, Shlomo and I often argued. Once she was born, Shlomo naturally took on the role of the protective older brother, setting an example for everyone. As a result, I became the jerk who often picked on the younger sister.

Shlomo was passionate about sports—swimming, running, and football—and trained extensively for the army, eventually enlisting in the Paratrooper Brigade. Our family instilled in us values of selflessness and patriotism. When it was my turn to enlist, there was no other option for me. Shlomo and I both felt a strong desire to become combat soldiers and contribute as much as we could.

When Shlomo enlisted, he would often call me, expressing concern for my well-being and showing interest in how I was doing. By the time I enlisted, he had already become an officer. I wasn’t always sure when it was appropriate for me to call him, so he would be the one reaching out, and we would have our conversations that way.

“Shlomo and I were very close despite the age difference,” Sarah says. “He was always caring and there for me. When Shlomo was in the army, he would call me regularly, and when he came home, he always knew how to make me happy. He was a cheerful presence, often sending us pictures, and during his visits, he would sit with my father for long conversations, sharing what he was going through.”

How did you receive the message about his death?

Yona: “At that time, I was stationed in the south during my military service. My battalion commander came to talk to me and simply said, ‘Your brother, Shlomo, was killed today.’ They then took me home, and we sat Shiva. It was an incredibly long and difficult period, with many people coming to pay their respects.”

Sarah: “It was an ordinary morning; I was getting ready for school when, exactly at 7:00 AM, soldiers knocked on the door. When I saw them, I immediately knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t fully grasp the meaning. I was in a state of confusion and couldn’t really understand what was happening.”

How have you been coping since then?

"I draw strength mainly from my family—my parents and my brother Yona. I miss Shlomo deeply; I miss playing with him. When I was younger, Shlomo would come home, and we would play on the couch. He always gave me his attention, and I miss that."

Yona: “A week after Shlomo's fall, I decided I wanted to return to the army, even though I was scheduled to be released soon. Before his passing, I had plans for what I would do after my release, including traveling around the world with Shlomo and consulting him about the future. Now, as I go through the process of being released, I feel lost and uncertain. Despite this, I know I need to stay strong for my family. Life goes on, and I must keep moving forward and living for them. I don't want to be in a situation where November 16th feels like another day of loss."

What do you miss the most?

"First and foremost, I cherish the moments when Shlomo came home. He would give us a hug, and then he, our father, and I would sit in the dining room and talk about our week, sharing our experiences."

"Being kids again"

Recently, Yona and Sarah returned from the Legacy program where they attended camp in Pennsylvania. Yona participated as a counselor, and Sarah attended as a camper. “We were all part of the same camp,” says Yona. “Sarah and I were in the same camp, but she was with a different counselor.”

“It was a summer camp right out of the movies, designed to help the children relax and take a brief respite from the conflict in Israel. The camp featured a variety of activities, including lake and pool activities, archery, art, a rope park, and numerous social events,” he added.

Conversations with campers

"Although it’s not an official prerequisite, all the counselors are soldiers who are themselves bereaved brothers or orphans of the IDF. If conversations of this nature arise, we are equipped to respond empathetically because we understand their experiences deeply. There were instances where children opened up to the staff, sharing their personal stories. The staff listened, shared their own experiences, and offered hugs when needed."

How did you feel during the camp?

"During the camp’s training sessions, we were briefed on our mission. I felt that I also needed a break from the situation in Israel, so I made an effort to leave my own trauma and personal ‘baggage’ behind and focus on making the teens happy. As a counselor, one of my responsibilities was to take pictures of the children and send them to their parents, so they could see that their kids were doing well."

"We received great feedback from parents saying things like, ‘I can’t believe this is my child—he hasn’t smiled like that in a long time or played so joyfully with others.’ By separating them from the situation in Israel and connecting with them on a personal level, the children truly flourished. It provided them with a break from the challenges back home and gave them the chance to simply be teenagers again."

What was it like to be two siblings in the same camp?

“It was a strange experience. Since joining the army, I’m rarely home, and when I am, I mostly see Sarah in a family context rather than with her friends. At the camp, I saw her interacting freely with her friends, and at times, it felt like she was seeing me as just another person, not her brother. It was refreshing to see her enjoying herself so much,” Yona reflects.

Sarah adds, “I’m used to seeing Yona in a family setting, not with his friends. Seeing him in a different environment, interacting with other counselors and peers, was really nice. I enjoyed seeing him like that.”

How was the connection with the other children in the camp?

“Before the camp started, we had two days of orientation with all the campers and counselors. This helped me get to know everyone better. Once we were there, it was easy to connect. We all understood each other’s experiences, which made spending time together much easier.”

"We had many activities at the camp that helped us socialize, and we also had numerous opportunities to talk about our lost family members and open up. Unlike conversations with friends at home who might not fully understand my experiences, here I felt I was speaking with people who truly understood what I was going through. I was able to let go, find happiness, and connect deeply with others. Although we spent only about two weeks together, it feels like we know each other much better, and I’m confident we’ll stay in touch."

What, for example, did you share with each other?

“We mainly talked about life after our losses. We supported each other, and since we all shared similar experiences, we understood how to interact and support one another. It felt like a support group for those who had been through the same struggles.”