October orphans: Who cares for Israeli kids whose parents were killed by Hamas?

“Are you asking about children who have lost one parent? Or both?” These are the questions that came up during the early stages of research for this Magazine story about how orphans in Israel are being cared for following the Oct. 7 massacre. It’s a question that felt too dark to answer. 

The Welfare and Social Services Ministry reports that there are 31 young people 25 years old and younger who have lost both of their parents: 18 minors and 13 young adults between the age of 18 and 25. Some 250 minors have lost one parent, while three have lost one, with the other one still being held captive in Gaza. 

While young adults between 18 and 25 do not legally need to be adopted or fostered, the Welfare Ministry and other organizations consulted for the Magazine said that these crucial years of development are a sensitive time for growth; therefore, this age category is included. 

The numbers are still not final, noted Welfare Ministry spokesman Gil Horev; and while Israel is now six months into the war, the healing is truly just getting started. 

The Magazine tried to get as complete a picture of the situation as possible; but with the gravity of this unprecedented situation, and both government and private organizations contributing, it is complex, to say the least, and gaps will continue to be filled.

Despite a number of attempts through different organizations and individuals, no orphan from the Oct. 7 attack wanted to be interviewed for this article, with their liaisons reporting that it is simply “too hard” for them to talk.

How is Israel helping the children orphaned on October 7?

THE WELFARE Ministry reported that each double orphan under age 18 in Israel has been adopted by a close family member like an aunt, uncle, or grandparent. Experts said this is the best route to success for youth who need to continue on after losing both parents. At first, the child goes into Family Foster Care, which is an arrangement made between the family and social services. With some guidance and time, if it’s the right fit, the family member will make an official adoption. Governmental bodies assist the family members with monthly compensation to lessen the financial burden. This includes access to a variety of treatments. 

A grassroots organization started in the aftermath of Oct. 7 called the Israeli Children’s Fund has their own data. They estimate that 387 people under the age of 25 in Israel have lost one parent. They cite 29 children in that cohort who have lost both their parents, slightly less than the Welfare Ministry’s total of 31. 

These numbers do not include those who lost a parent serving in Israel’s security forces. In the eyes of the state, local security agents working in the Gaza border communities on Oct. 7 were part of the army, even if they were volunteers. 

In the aftermath, government agencies like the National Insurance Institute and the ministries of welfare, defense, and health kicked into high gear, pouring resources and funds into helping victims. 

The Welfare Ministry received government funds to cover an additional 200,000 hours for social workers, plus more money for their expenses. Horev said his staff routinely put in more than their nine required daily hours and never asked for more pay. 

NEW ROLES were needed in the days after Oct. 7. Some 35 new therapists specializing in sexual trauma were added to help staff the 80 centers around the country dealing with PTSD victims. Other professionals were hired to accompany citizens who had to submit DNA samples to trace missing loved ones. Some social workers were added to the roster to accompany IDF representatives when they actualized every Israeli’s worst nightmare: knocking on people’s doors and informing them that their relative had been killed or kidnapped. Social workers themselves were given time to vent, with professionals to assist them through their work as well. 

“The social workers dealt with things that social workers across the world never dealt with,” Horev explained. “There was nothing in the books for this to deal with such atrocities. So they needed to invent it on the spot They learned a lot from the victims about what they need.”

The Welfare Ministry spokesman stressed that the ministry stands behind the orphans, victims, and families, and will “do whatever is necessary to help them continue their life after this trauma.” Orphans can turn to the ministry for help with higher education, counseling, legal advice, help with opening a business and anything to help them move along. 

Orphans of Oct. 7 are entitled to National Insurance Institute funds earmarked for the loss of a parent and are also entitled to funds for being victims of terror – something the State of Israel set aside long before the massacre. 

The Justice Ministry also places funds into a trust. Oftentimes these funds are pulled from the accounts of individuals who passed away in Israel and left their money to the state. The ministry is also managing an influx of donations from people around the world who are looking to support the Israeli victims of terror and want a trusted government entity to secure their contributions. 

THE ESHKOL Regional Council covers 32 communities in southern Israel, which includes moshavim and kibbutzim like Be’eri, Nir Oz, Re’im, and Holit. People were murdered in three-fourths of them (24) on Oct. 7. Iris Ezra, social services director for the council, said that some of the services the local governance offers include group therapy, special therapy sessions for families of orphans, one-on-one advisers to accompany children to school who need a companion, and personal therapy for individuals. Ezra also discussed having council funds for the children that the leadership team is figuring out how to manage.

“It’s so endless,” Ezra said. “Although we are 32 [communities], we are small and have tight connections between the people. I will speak about someone [in one community], and then I will be told her brother is married to so-and-so and their father is in Gaza.”

The Eshkol Council counts 215 people who were killed, with 32 still alive and being held captive in Gaza. Others are dead, and the council is aware that their bodies are being held on the other side of the border, just a few kilometers away. 

BESIDES GOVERNMENT bodies, there are private organizations working to ensure that Israel’s new orphans are not disadvantaged in life due to their new circumstances. The Israeli Children’s Fund (ICF) and OneFamily are private institutions working to fill in the gaps.

OneFamily is an organization dedicated to helping victims of terror and their families rehabilitate and reintegrate into society. Ella Danon, a psychotherapist with the organization, took six “young adult” orphans between the ages of 23 and 42 [on a winter trip] to Andorra, a small country in Europe. The six joined five orphans who had lost their parents during the Second Intifada or through traumatic Palestinian lone-wolf home invasions. By pairing new orphans with people who have a shared experience, the group was able to begin a healing journey, using snow and skis as a means of reemerging. 

At the beginning of the trip, each person shared what happened to his or her family. Some orphans who had moved past their trauma found themselves triggered, but they knew how to help and the kind of language to use to support others and demonstrate that life can continue. Many reported that knowing there were people waiting for them to join the breakfast table was a major part of recovery, saying it was as if their “mother and father were there.”

It was a challenge to get the young adults out of the country, but once they left, nature was able to spark their healing. The fact that healthy meals were provided was also a benefit. The group reported feeling a sense of relief to not have to care about feeding themselves. 

“It was unbelievable – to see how the body was before and after,” Ezra said. “Even though I’m a psychotherapist… it was something to see… To see life coming on… To see the eyes.”

From repeated hugging to not being able to sleep the entire night due to fear, the group environment created a space for these young people to share their feelings and say, “It’s okay.”

“You’re crying, but it’s okay because we are together,” Ezra told them, exemplifying the concept of OneFamily.

THE ICF is actively fundraising to get $200,000 into a fund for each child. The idea is to have money in the bank to pay for life’s milestones – whether that be a bar mitzvah, higher education, starting a business, or getting married. But it’s not all about the cash. The fund is already curating a network to help young people fill in the social gaps they will be missing due to lacking parents. 

When asked how the ICF was able to pool data about the affected orphans, Marni Mandell, head of fundraising for the new grassroots organization, explained that because she and her team were providing care, essential goods, and funds, people came forward out of a place of need. Through word of mouth and a wide network of people trying to help one another, orphans came forward to get immediate care. Some 540 children and their adopted families have already received a total of $400,000 in immediate relief grants. In the long term, each orphan will be given a trust fund to provide long-term financial security. 

When it comes to the social aspect, the organization is working to connect children with positive role models who can help them with their personal growth. And soon enough, they’ll be able to use a digital application that provides facts and figures about opportunities available for them and explanations about benefits and rights that differ at each institution. 

ICF said they are working to fill in the gaps that the government might not be able to tend to. The organization has also started to organize a section within the fund for holiday gifts, with a budget of NIS 2,000 per child per year. Mandell explained that the initiative got started within two weeks of Oct. 7, when a group of hi-tech entrepreneurs got together to build a support fund. More professionals and members of the global Jewish community joined in quickly. The team has been operating on a volunteer basis for about six months, with their first hire (the CEO) entering a paid role within the last two weeks. 

“Our vision is to not allow this moment to define their life, but to provide everything we possibly can by way of resources and opportunities for them to thrive,” Mandell said.   