Parents of Gaza hostage Hersh Goldberg-Polin: 'Don’t ask how we are'

Rachel Goldberg-Polin and Jon Polin sat down for an intimate discussion with Felice Friedson, on the harrowing months of championing on behalf of their son, Hersh’s release from the hands of Hamas. They speak about their inner discussions away from the media, their heartbreaking challenges, and the moments of hope.

The Goldberg-Polin family are Americans who moved to Israel, previously living in Chicago and Virginia. Rachel is slender, composed and articulate, each word crafted. Jon: tall, softer. Each has a complementary strength which has carried them through the most unthinkable path one can’t imagine, fighting to save their child’s life.

On October 7, Hamas infiltrated Israel’s border with Gaza, massacring 1,200 people and taking 252 citizens and soldiers hostage. Currently, 133 hostages are still being held in Gaza and possibly beyond, as a cease-fire has faltered; each day that passes brings more complexity and grave concern.

"We will leave no stone unturned"

“Don’t worry about us … focus on yourself,” Rachel says to Hersh, believing he knows they are leaving no stone unturned to get him home. We discuss the message Rachel and Jon want their son to hear today.

“We have not stopped for one second in 209 days doing everything possible to bring him home, to bring home all of the hostages,” Jon tells The Media Line.

Jon says that if a hostage agreement is not reached, it will bring grief not just to the families of the hostages. “Everybody in the region is suffering.”

He says there are leaders who are staying silent or not doing enough but was overwhelmed by the outpouring of “goodness in the world, from all over the world.”

“I actually think he thinks there is a whole entire universe that is fighting for him, and for all of them,” Rachel emoted about her son.

Jon also praised the American administration for “their availability to us, their desire to get something done. … They have been really exemplary across the board.”

They both cited the fact that, in Jon’s words, “Americans don’t like Americans—or anybody, but particularly Americans—being held hostage against their will,” and were heartened by the united front Democrats and Republicans were taking.

Rachel noted that you don’t hear much about the other hostages being held, referring to the Christians, Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists who are among those held from 25 different countries. “I’m not sure that all of America knows the names of the eight American hostages who are still being held,” she told The Media Line. Tragically three of the Americans have been confirmed dead.

Asked about their reaction to seeing the worrisome video Hamas released of Hersh, a first proof of life of their bold son who lost an arm saving others, Rachel, as a mother was visually grasping the medical condition of her son’s arm which had been severed on October 7. “You know, the mother starts to worry about those things.”

Physicians reached out to the Goldberg-Polin parents to tell them that Hersh needed at least two additional surgeries immediately.

In 2014, Jon wrote an article about assistive technology for the disabled. Asked about his reaction to seeing Hersh with his severed arm on the famous visual of him bleeding and being whisked away, he told The Media Line that he had done some research on the technology space called assistive technology for people with all kinds of physical and emotional disabilities. “I’m very familiar with all kinds of rehabilitation, all kinds of technology, and rehabilitation centers around the world.”

Citing contacts they have around the world in this field, their focus is to bring their son home and then get him the best care possible.

"It's torturous"

Rachel and Jon discuss the importance of putting the human face to the story and getting it out to the public.

Asked what questions one should or should not pose to the parent of a kidnapped person, Rachel, in despair, spoke about the pain she feels when asked “how are you.”

“Do you not see the knife that’s sticking out of my heart? Why would you ask that?” She doesn’t feel people ask the question maliciously, but “I think all of our words can be more gently crafted,” she shares with The Media Line.

As an educator who once led a trip of young people to teach about the Holocaust, Rachel remembers herself reflecting on the impossibility of the horror and addresses those who don’t believe October 7 happened. “I was actually standing in the barracks of a concentration camp in Poland, I myself was saying as I was standing in there, this can’t be real, because it was so horrible, I didn’t want to believe it.”

“I would just like to tell them about my only son and show them the video that was made by the people who took him and show them the video by the people who are currently holding him.”

Time magazine recently named Rachel one of the 100 most influential people in the world. Rachel sees herself as a symbol and representative of the collective issue. “Rachel Goldberg doesn’t belong on that list, but the hostage crisis absolutely belongs on that list,” she says. “I am the mother of a hostage, and they couldn’t fit all the mothers of all the hostages into that little box.”

Rachel and Jon speak of missing normal family life, including moments of boredom. They miss the family time with their three children, including their two daughters, as Rachel used to sit at the table and would look at Hersh from her seat. Today she sits in Hersh’s seat so she doesn’t have to look at his empty chair. And, she says, “I haven’t cooked in 209 days.”

The couple lean on each other for strength and have become a symbol of admiration for so many. “There is not a day or a moment when I pray that I don’t thank God that it’s Jon who’s my partner. 

And you know, what’s interesting is I remember those first few hours where we thought Hersh was dead on the 7th. … We hadn’t seen the video. … We didn’t know anything yet. And we had this horrifying conversation. And I do remember saying, but one day, we’ll be OK because we’re together,” Rachel said.

She feels blessed and lucky to have Jon as her partner. “It is a completely torturous, agonizing, painful—not just emotionally, psychologically, but spiritually and physically. It is actually physically painful what we’re going through. And if I didn’t have a partner who could be really helpful in that, I don’t know what I would do.”

The hostage families are still waiting and hoping for the hostage release to happen in an endless game of negotiations.

“I just keep … focusing on the last 30 seconds where he speaks directly to us and to our daughters. That’s the part that I’m holding,” Jon said.