OneFamily brings war widows to Cyprus to heal

Gal Moreno, a soft-spoken 25-year-old, is too young to be a widow. Her husband Itay, 24, was serving in the IDF’s Maglan commando unit and was killed fighting Hamas terrorists on Zikim Beach on October 11. He was the nephew of Emmanuel Moreno, a revered Sayeret Matkal commando killed fighting in Lebanon in 2006 at the age of 35, whose photograph has never been published because the IDF said the operations he took part in were too sensitive.

A few days after her husband’s death, Gal wrote the following post on Facebook:

“My Itay, my heart, my first and only love. You spread light everywhere you entered. How am I eulogizing you and speaking about you in the past tense? I was privileged to be by your side from age 17 until your last day…. Your dream was a family and children, a little kingdom of our own.”

45 women joined the group

Six months later, Gal went to the Secret Forest wellness & spa resort in Cyprus with a group of more than 40 bereaved widows on a trip sponsored by OneFamily, a Jerusalem-based nonprofit organization that seeks to bring together Israel’s victims of terror into “one, national, self-supportive family.”

“I was really afraid to come because it’s the first time I did anything like a vacation alone,” she told The Jerusalem Report. “I was nervous about coming into the room, but I feel like the women here understand me even without saying anything, and everyone made me feel so comfortable.”

The four-day retreat at the Secret Forest brought together 45 women who have all lost their husbands since October 7. It was a mix of therapeutic discussion circles, activities such as mindfulness dance, a massage in Cyprus’s largest spa, and a chance for these women to simply be together.

Moreno said she had been to other events sponsored by OneFamily and liked the way they were organized.“All of the meetings and activities they’ve done so far were done with tact and sensitivity, and they made me feel really comfortable,” she said.

Over the four days, the coordinators for OneFamily did whatever they could to support the participants. If a woman was sitting alone, she would soon be joined by a coordinator, sometimes just keeping her company, sometimes starting a conversation. If someone was crying, a coordinator would sit with her and offer a hug.

Most were mothers of young children 

“I’m kind of like your Polish aunt who shows up at the shiva and then won’t leave you alone,” Mindee Levinger, the bubbly coordinator for the Jerusalem area, told The Jerusalem Report. “Your children will become like my grandchildren. And once I ‘adopt’ one of the women, I’m there for life.”

Most of the women on the retreat were mothers of young children, although there were a few who had been married just a year. One woman found out she was pregnant with her first child during the shiva for her husband.

“The surviving spouse must remain a rock of stability for the children throughout his or her own mourning process and face the challenges of raising children as a single parent,” Chantal Belzberg, the CEO of OneFamily, told The Jerusalem Report. “Often, the widow focuses all her energy on the children and is unable to deal with her own sense of loss. Some find it challenging to find the strength to maintain a daily routine for the family – managing the household, caring for the children, going to work – when they feel completely broken. OneFamily supports the widows and widowers from the initial time of the attack and are in close connection, accompanying them through the years at every stage of their journey.”

Dana Cohen, 40, a mother of six, said that the retreat helped her realize that she needs to make time for herself in order to manage her grief and help her family. Cohen is from Shlomit, a small community just 750 meters from the border with Egypt. Her husband, Aviad, was the head of the small security team of their community. On October 7, he and a few others ran to help a nearby community that had been overrun by Hamas terrorists. He was killed in fighting that day.

Cohen and her children, who range in age from 3 to 17, were evacuated to the Cramim, a luxury hotel on the outskirts of Jerusalem, where they lived for four months. A month ago, they returned to their home in Shlomit, and it was only then that they could really start their mourning process, she said.

The weekend at the Secret Forest had been transformative for her, she said, and made her realize that she needed to take some time for herself.

“I came here feeling that I needed to take a break and get refilled with energy, especially going towards Passover,” she said. “Every holiday just reminds me of not having Aviad. This weekend and the whole process I went through gave me energy. I got out of my day-to-day routine and could look at my life from the outside and meet other women going through the same thing. The discussions, the massage, it all gave me strength.”

That is exactly the point, according to Secret Forest owner Yoni Kahana. A Chabadnik, he bought the beautiful complex in the Cyprus mountains last year. On October 6, just before the war, the resort hotel was booked solid for the next few months. On October 7, everything changed.

Kahana started hosting survivors of the Supernova festival massacre, offering a therapeutic environment, mountain hikes, and a place for them to de-stress. Since October 7, he’s hosted more than 1,000 survivors of the Supernova and hundreds of bereaved parents for retreats like this one.

The complex is beautifully designed and encourages contemplation. I am an early riser, and when I sat outside on my balcony sipping coffee, the only sounds I heard were the birds chirping. One morning I took a walk in the forest with OneFamily board member Michal Cotler-Wunch.

There is a Wellness Center that offers yoga, Pilates, and meditation. There is a fantastic spa with thermal water pools both inside and outside, and excellent massages.

And the food. I am a big foodie, and Secret Forest has a farm-to-table dairy and fish menu, where almost everything is local. The cheeses are made in the village next door. The vegetables are grown in the hydroponic greenhouse. The food was plentiful, well prepared, and quite healthful. There are no soft drinks served at the resort, so the free-flowing wine did compensate somewhat.

“It’s all about rejuvenation,” Kahana said. “It’s about connecting with nature, connecting with others and, most importantly, connecting with yourself. People come here with their battery at 10 percent and leave with it full – at 100 percent.”

OneFamily brought therapists to the retreat as well. The widows were divided into three groups based on the ages of their children. There were three therapeutic sessions over the weekend, which was only for the widows themselves.

Throughout the weekend, OneFamily gave the women little treats – chocolate, a sweatshirt, cookies – to make them feel special. Some of the most important healing happened in the informal conversations that took place among the women in their free time. There was a lot of laughter together, as well as tears.

“OneFamily makes my heart full because you see there are people working 24/7 just doing good and trying to comfort us,” Cohen said. “It’s like a big hug that gives you strength.”

OneFamily, a unique community of professionals, volunteers, and supporters standing together to rekindle love and restore hope, is a nonprofit organization recognized in Israel, the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. As a non-governmental organization, it is funded through private donations from around the world.■

The writer was a guest of OneFamily in Cyprus.