Children of fallen soldiers hear of their parents' heroism with new initiative

Sadly, hundreds of male combat soldiers have fallen in battle since Oct. 7, often leaving behind young children who will grow up without a father. Finding ways to help them is a difficult but important task.

Tamara Wiesen rose to the challenge some months ago, when Noam Ashram – a close friend and comrade of her husband, Adam – fell in Gaza, leaving behind a heartbroken wife and three children: Maya, seven; Eyal two; and Tomer, one. 

“Noam was a real character,” Wiesen told the Magazine in a recent interview. “Adam had so many stories about him, and I wanted his kids to have these stories about their father.”

In short, Wiesen wanted to find a way to let Noam’s children know that their daddy was a real-life superhero.

With that, she set about collecting stories from members of his unit, which were then turned into letters for his children. 

Below are excerpts from some of those letters.

“Maya, Eyal, and Tomer, 

It was an honor to serve in miluim alongside your dad for 15 years... Over the course of those years, your dad would always talk about how he met your mom, Tamara, how he proposed to her, and how happy he was after they got married.” 

Another wrote about Noam’s unwavering sense of responsibility.

“On October 7, everything changed for us. I remember when we met at the base after we were first called, we were talking, and it was so clear to Noam that he had a responsibility and a mission to do everything possible to protect this country for his children, and for all the children in Israel.”  

One friend wrote about how much Noam missed his family,

“One day, after we had been inside Gaza for almost a month, we got letters from our families, and only the two of us were in the room when we opened them. Noam was so emotional when he read the letter from you and saw the pictures of all of you with your mom. It was the only time I ever saw him with tears in his eyes. He told me how much he misses you all and how important you all are to him. He would talk about the three of you all the time and say how proud he was of you all, even though you were still so young.” 

In this final extract, Noam’s comrade reassures his kids that they are not alone.

“Noam was strong, brave, and loved his mission in the army. As you grow up, I hope that you’ll discover more about how special your father was, and about how many people he impacted in his life. I will always be here for you, along with our whole unit, the same way he was always there for us. Always remember your father as a true hero who fought to protect his country, for you, and for all of us.”

THESE INSPIRING letters about Noam gave Wiesen the impetus to collect such letters for other children who had suffered the loss of a parent. “I thought about all the kids who lost parents in the war,” she said.

With that, she set up the website rememberwithletters.co.il, where soldiers can submit letters to the children of fallen comrades so that “every child will grow up with stories about their hero parent.”

The letters, “from soldiers, for the children of soldiers,” can be written by the soldiers themselves or, if they prefer, the soldiers can answer a few questions, and Wiesen and her team of volunteers will draft the letters for them. The letters are all handwritten in Hebrew and will be delivered in a special box to the children on the first anniversary of their father’s death as a physical memento. The letters will also be sent digitally.

While the project is still in its infancy, Wiesen is doing her utmost to raise awareness by sharing details about the website as widely as possible on miluim WhatsApp groups and Instagram. 

She also checks the list of fallen soldiers on the IDF website whenever news of another tragic death is announced, to see if they have children who might benefit from receiving such letters. 

“Reaching out to the right people” is somewhat of a challenge for Wiesen, who is in touch with a number of IDF education and human resources officers, as well as the IDF Widows and Orphans Organization.

IDF OFFICER Avi Hobelashvili was killed on Oct. 7 while battling Hamas terrorists. His death left a gaping hole in the lives of his wife, Shosh, who was newly pregnant at the time with their second child, and their young daughter. Her newborn son will never know his father. 

Eager to keep Avi’s memory alive for the sake of his children, a number of his comrades wrote heartfelt and inspiring words. The first wanted to let Avi’s children know what a brilliant commander their father was: “There was one night I was talking with Avi and another officer for a few hours, and during that conversation I saw him in a completely different light: I saw him as the type of commander I want to be. After we finished talking, I said, ‘Avi, I want to be you when I grow up.’ He laughed and walked away to go help someone. After he left, the officer and I just looked at him and agreed he was the ideal commander; no one else could compare.”

Another wrote about Avi’s enormous potential.

“It was obvious even from basic training that Avi was a special person. He was always the first to volunteer, the first to help, the first in everything! He moved up the job chain so quickly because they recognized his insane potential right from the start.”

Even those who weren’t particularly close to Avi took the time to write to his children, as they felt it was “important that his children know how amazing their father was.”

“I remember he always used to talk about his girlfriend with such pride and love. I saw later that they got married and gave birth to a sweet baby girl. After October 7, I read that there was another child on the way who will only hear about him from stories, and it hurts my heart. That is why I am writing this because although Avi and I were not close, it is important that his children know how amazing their father was. He was a really special person, and it was a privilege to know him.”

While the project is gaining momentum, on occasion Wiesen has been met with resistance, as some feel uncomfortable engaging with a “random website.”

Nevertheless, she is determined to keep going with the project and is currently at the stage of gathering stories and turning them into letters: “Once we collect enough, then we’ll reach out to families,” she explained. 

“The goal is to get a stack of letters and stories for every child who has lost a parent,” she stressed, adding, “It’s a little difficult… for every 50 people who visit the website, I get one letter. People avoid it because it’s very hard, sensitive, and personal.” 

Reaching all the children of the fallen will be an arduous task for Wiesen, as the war has left some 250 widows and over 500 orphans. 

To date, around 645 IDF soldiers have been killed defending Israel since Oct. 7. 

To find out more, visit rememberwithletters.co.il