‘How can I trust them?’ Hostage’s cousin questions IDF commitment

On October 7, 19-year-old Sgt. Itay Chen of the Israel Defense Forces’ 7th Armored Brigade was stationed near the Gaza border when Hamas fighters entered Israel. Chen was originally thought to have been taken hostage, but on March 12, Israel announced that he had been killed on the day of the attack. The son of Ruby Chen, a New Yorker, and Chagit Chen, an Israeli, Itay Chen is one of more than 50 American citizens killed or kidnapped by Hamas on October 7. His body is still held in Gaza.

The Geneva Conventions mandate that parties in armed conflicts treat the dead with respect and dignity, making all efforts to return bodies to their families. Article 17 of the First Geneva Convention from 1949 elaborates that withholding a body for political or military purposes may be classified as a war crime under the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court and a breach of customary international humanitarian law.

For some families of October 7 victims, painful memories have already turned into scars. For Itay’s family, still awaiting the return of his body one year after his death, the pain still feels like an open wound. The Media Line spoke to Itay Chen’s 15-year-old cousin, Brit Israeli, about how the family is coping and about her own thoughts as an Israeli set to be drafted in just a few years.

TML: Please introduce yourself and tell us how your life changed since October 7.

Brit Israeli: My name is Brit Israeli. I’m 15 years old, and I live in Herzliya. Since October 7, it’s been a nightmare for us. We can’t do normal, everyday things, like going to school. I just returned from school, but it’s hard to focus on learning because my mind is constantly on my cousin. Even though I know he’s not alive, it’s still difficult to accept. I also think about the other hostages—how could they survive for so long in Gaza without basic necessities? It’s not normal for people to be taken so far away from their families and friends. They need to come home. My cousin was like a brother to me since I’m an only child. His brothers are like my brothers, too, and we just want them back home.

TML: What happened on October 7? Where were you when you found out about the attacks and your cousin?

Brit Israeli: On October 7, I was at home. We woke up to the sound of sirens and went to the safe room. At first, we didn’t think much of it because in Israel, this happens once or twice a year. But then I remembered my cousin is right next to Gaza—less than five kilometers away. My first thought was maybe he would just be working and would not want to be interrupted right now. But we didn’t think terrorists would come inside Israel and start murdering people. We never imagined something like this could happen because Israel is our home, the place where we’re supposed to feel protected.

That morning, my cousin and the other soldiers went to their tank and fought for three hours. We had no contact with them. For two months, we didn’t know what had happened. Five days after the attack, the army reached their tank and found the body of just one tank crew member, Tomer Leibovich. The bodies of the rest of the crew weren't there. We still hoped Itay was alive, and that he'd eventually come home and tell us what really happened. For two months, we had no information about whether he was kidnapped, dead, or hiding somewhere. We fought to get answers. Then, on March 12, we got the message that my cousin, along with Daniel Perez, had died in the battle on October 7. The fourth crew member, Matan Angrest, was taken alive into Gaza. We’re still waiting for Itay to come home. Without his body, we don’t have closure. We need him to come home. We don’t want to harm any civilians. We’re not bad people. We just need him back. That’s all.

TML: Can you tell us a bit more about your cousin? What kind of person was he?

Brit Israeli: Itay was an energetic guy. Whenever he walked into a room, it lit up. He hated seeing people sad and always tried to cheer them up. He loved playing basketball and was a member of the Scouts. He was that friendly guy. He was the type of person who made everyone around him happy. It’s heartbreaking not to feel that energy anymore.

TML: How have you been coping since learning of his passing?

Brit Israeli: It’s been hard, but we try to maintain our daily routine. I’m a student, and even though I’m only 15, society expects us to just get back to normal. But how can I? Even in school, my mind always thinks about Itay, about bringing him home, that I need to fight for him. I go almost every day to the memorial for Itay. It has become a part of me, my second home. We can’t go back to normal as long as they’re not here because it’s not possible for us.

TML: As someone so young who has been deeply affected by this war, what’s your perspective on all of the destruction and loss of life?

Brit Israeli: I don’t think it’s normal for so many people to be killed in war. In a few years, I’m supposed to join the army. But how can I go fight if the army couldn’t bring my cousin home? My cousin fought for our safety on October 7, but they couldn’t keep him safe. How can I trust them to keep me safe? If the government knew how to send him to fight, it should also know how to bring him back.

Brit has other friends still in the IDF 

TML: Do you have other friends in the army now?

Brit Israeli: Yes, I have some friends in the army, and I have a second cousin who’s serving as well. They’ve told me they just want a deal for everyone to come home. No more soldiers need to die in this war. We want peace; this is who we are.

TML: You mentioned your doubts about joining the army after what happened with your cousin. How do you feel about your mandatory military service when the time comes?

Brit Israeli: I’m going to join the army. Before October 7, I already had planned to join the army. Itay inspired me to go. I want to be a combat soldier, just like him. Even though everything that happened, I’m still going to serve, and I hope this war will be over by the time I enlist. But regardless, I’m going to follow in my cousin’s footsteps.