IDF Capt. Roi Nahary, 23: Saving lives – in life and in death

Gorgeous. That’s the one English word that Iris Nahary used to describe her fallen son Roi, whose grave she and her daughter Rotem had come to visit last Friday afternoon at the Mount Herzl Military Cemetery in Jerusalem. His mother has come every Friday during this first year since his passing. 

“He was beautiful on the outside and no less so on the inside,” she said, with an almost yearlong tone of acceptance while gazing at the portrait of Roi next to his headstone, all geared up and in uniform at the Western Wall, smiling excitedly, unaware of the unfortunate fate that would eventually befall him on that Black Sabbath, as she and many others call it. 

Captain Roi Nahary was one of the 12 active and reserve soldiers who fell on October 9, following another dozen who had fallen the previous day, and 284 who fell on the infamous Oct. 7, 2023. He was 23 years old.

Forty-five of those initial 284 are buried on Mount Herzl, two of whom were featured in a recent article (“A grave situation – Four fallen sons,” In Jerusalem, September 20). Nahary was the only one to be buried here who died on October 9 – although he was wounded on Oct. 7.

The life and death of Capt. Roi Nahary

ROI HAD been leading his team, stationed at the Tzur Hadassah Local Council about 12 km. southwest of Jerusalem, when they heard news of the early morning infiltration and attack in the South. 

“Like many others that day, they didn’t wait for orders,” his mother said. “He and his 12 or so soldiers just went and fought, with other groups like Sayeret Matcal and Maglan” – two special IDF reconnaissance units. “Everyone who was here, they didn’t wait to go, they just went,” she said.

“He was the commanding officer,” Iris said proudly. “He took two Hummer vehicles, went first to Zikim Beach and saved two fishermen.” Then they continued straight to Kfar Aza, one of the Gaza border communities that was attacked most viciously and suffered the most casualties (killed and wounded combined) on that horrific day. 

“They fought there all day and saved 40 families” by rescuing them from the shelter where they had sought refuge after hearing the sirens, Roi’s sister Rotem said.

“They were there for nine hours until evening,” she continued. His team arrived at a house that they thought had a family inside – unaware that they had already fled. They decided not to shoot for fear of hitting someone from the family. Upon entering, they discovered “There were several terrorists inside who shot at them. Roi was shot in the jaw.” Some of his soldiers took him to a helicopter that evacuated him to Soroka Hospital in Beersheba. 

Besides his younger sister Rotem, Roi had two brothers: Omer, the youngest in the family, now 16; and Bar, Roi’s fraternal twin, now 24. They had always been inseparable, and eventually joined Battalion 202 of the 35th Paratroopers Brigade together. They both became officers, commanding different groups of troops.

The Paratroopers Brigade was formed in 1955. Its first commander was then-Maj. Ariel Sharon, who would later become Israel’s 11th prime minister. Among its other notable commanders were former chiefs of staff Rafael Eitan, Moshe Ya’alon, Aviv Kohavi, and the current Lt.-Gen Herzi Halevi. 

Although all aspiring parachutists must make five jumps on their last day of training to become IDF paratroopers, the brigade has only made a single combat parachute drop – the year after it was formed – during the 1956 Sinai War. But the brigade has carried out many other successful missions, including the reconquest of Jerusalem during the Six Day War.

THE FAMILY was told that Roi’s wound was “light,” even though he had been “anesthetized and ventilated,” his mother said. Bar was also on the battlefield, but not with Roi. “Roi was in Gaza, but Bar went north to his soldiers in Tirtza Camp and kept searching for his brother, having heard what was happening down south,” their mother said. He called all over: “Where is Roi?” he desperately asked.

“Bar finally got through to his twin brother and talked with him on the phone,” Iris said. “Roi told him that ‘today’ was ‘a significant day’ and that he would tell him about everything that happened when the day was over. Roi told Bar that he loved him – and 10 minutes later, he was shot.”

Bar called his mother at 11:30 p.m., asking her to contact their father, Ronen, and tell him that Roi had been lightly wounded and was being flown to Soroka Hospital in Beersheba. 

“I didn’t understand why he was being taken by helicopter if he was only lightly wounded,” she said. So they all went to the hospital: Bar, the rest of the family, and Roi’s soldiers. “The hospital was chaotic, Roi was in intensive care, and we all waited,” Iris recalled. “The doctors said he would go to rehab and everything would be all right.”

“They finally took him to do a CT,” Rotem continued. “One of the doctors came to speak to us – and told us that the bullet had damaged his brain, which they hadn’t seen before doing the CT, thinking it had just injured his jaw.”

“We were there with him for 36 hours,” their mother said. “He never regained consciousness, never opened his eyes. They told us that he had irreversible brain damage.” 

Rotem: “At 4:35 on Monday afternoon, October 9, they determined that he was brain dead – that he wouldn’t come back.” He was the only one of his team that didn’t survive.

President Isaac and First Lady Michal Herzog were invited by the Naharys to say a final farewell to Roi. When asked by The Jerusalem Post what interaction with victims or survivors of October 7 he knows will stay with him forever, he said that "Among the most difficult moments that will stay with me my whole life was standing with Iris and Ronen Nahary, along with Bar, in Soroka Hospital as they bode farewell to their son and twin brother Roi, who was in a coma and soon succumbed to his wounds sustained in battle with terrorists in Kibbutz Kfar Aza. They movingly asked us to join them in this very painful moment." Michal expressed similar sentiments in an interview with Laisha magazine.

AFTER THE initial sudden shock, the family quickly decided that they should donate his organs. An N12 TV Friday studio feature story (“Death separated the twins: the officers who did everything together – until October 7,” April 27, 2024) revealed that Roi’s heart had been transplanted into a 63-year-old man; his lungs into a 72-year-old man; one of his kidneys and his pancreas into a 29-year-old woman; another kidney into a 61-year-old woman; and his liver into a 44-year-old woman. 

“It was a privilege – for him as well as for us,” Ronen, Roi’s bereaved father, said. “Just as he saved people during all that fighting, he also saved people in his death.”

Seeing how composed the mother-daughter pair were, even through their obvious grief, In Jerusalem gently asked them whether they thought the doctors could have saved him if they had known earlier about the seriousness of his condition. “Maybe, we don’t know – we didn’t want to go there – it’s not going to help,” Iris responded. “The situation was chaotic, and there were so many soldiers – 400 to 500 of them,” Rotem said. “We can’t blame the hospital.” 

Iris recalled: “They flew him to Beilinson Hospital in Petah Tikva for the organ donations.” 

Rotem pointed out that he was the first of the Oct. 7 casualties to donate organs. His mother had been in close contact with Dr. Tamar Ashkenazi, head of Beilinson’s Israeli Organ Transplantation Center. “Our parents met with the lady who got his liver,” she said. 

In a story on the Mako Medical website (“He fell while protecting our citizens with his body…” October 12, 2023), Prof. Yael Peled, medical director of the heart transplant unit at Sheba Medical Center, said: “The heart transplant was accompanied by heartbreak, with teary eyes,” and “the donation shows nobility and gives hope.”

TWIN BROTHER Bar wanted to go into Gaza after the whole tragic incident, but his commander wouldn’t allow it – despite a heartfelt letter that the bereaved brother wrote to him. He has now completed his military service. 

“Roi was the other half of my soul,” he said. “I would have switched places with him.”

Their sister also saw action in battle – in the Caracal (Wild Cat) coed infantry combat battalion. “I was supposed to go into Gaza too, after that; but after what happened to Roi, I couldn’t continue anymore,” Rotem said.

Omer, the youngest brother, wants to be a pilot. 

“Isn’t he exempt from military service, since his brother was killed in action?” In Jerusalem asked. “Yes, he is exempt from combat duty but should serve in a non-combat position, although he could also get out altogether,” his sister explained. 

“I was happy that we could be with Roi and say goodbye – and I even thought he heard us; happy that they didn’t just tell us that he died,” Rotem stated – although her mother wasn’t sure which way would have been harder.

Roi was shot on Saturday, Oct. 7, declared brain dead on Monday the 9th – the date on his gravestone – and buried on Friday the 13th. The delay was due to certain special approvals that were necessary. “We have met and stayed in contact with many of the families who are our ‘neighbors’ here at the cemetery,” Iris said.

His family, friends and comrades in arms decided to eventually go back to where he fought and fell, to “walk on their own in the last journey he walked.” As documented in the N12 feature clip, when his soldiers finished their service, it finally happened: They took the family “on a journey into the inferno of that Shabbat, to the brave decisions that Roi made and to the people they met and saved,” to gain an appreciation of his valiant and selfless last day. 

“Roi had lots of friends, was modest and moral, a leader who loved his country, and a beautiful, ‘gorgeous’ son,” his mother said thoughtfully. “I merited to have him in my life.” 

It is a merit for us all to have such dedicated, self-sacrificing soldiers in our lives who have tragically given their own to protect us and allow us to continue living in our land. May their memories be for blessings – and now, a year after Oct. 7 when Roi and so many others fell or have been injured defending our land and lives, may they be the last.