The Lafair saga Dr. Jerry and Shoshana celebrate a blue-moon anniversary

Phase One – Once in a blue moon

Brilliant, the rare blue moon beamed its rays through the car’s windscreen, over dusk-laden Jerusalem hills and valleys at the end of August, illuminating my journey from the home of Shoshana and Dr. Jerry Lafair to mine.

Shabbat afternoon, some two weeks earlier saw Leah, their youngest daughter, shepherding some of her brood of eight into a park in Shilo.

It also attracted my granddaughter Moria and her husband, Azriel, who had invited me for Shabbat and whose home was situated amid the spreading hills overlooking the biblical Tel Shilo, once the site of the Tabernacle.

And so, that afternoon, we followed offspring whooping it up on the park’s swings and roundabouts, when my rest on a comfy bench was interrupted by “Shabbat shalom, Leah. Meet my grandmother.”

Chatting, naturally, began with Jewish geography:

“Yes, I live in Shilo, and you?”

“Jerusalem. How come you speak such good English?”

“Born in Philadelphia – but came when very young.”

“What was your maiden name before marrying?”

“Lafair.”

“What? Lafair? Jerry Lafair? Dr. Jerry Lafair?”

“Yes, That’s my father.”

Galvanized, leaping up, my embrace startled Leah, who could find no way to extricate herself until I was sure no tears would fleck my Shabbat best. Then she heard of her father’s amazing attention to my mother-in-law, also coincidentally named Leah.

“That’s just typical of him. But tell me more.”

Phase Two – To a manner born

Leah Krausz, my mother-in-law, whom I called Ma, was sometimes referred to lovingly as “my amazing little Marzipan.” Who would have guessed within her gentle body was grim determination to build her family, come what may?

It had meant daily strapping her six-month old son (my husband!) and his two-year-old sister into a high sprung pram. Onto the iron grid between its wheels she placed a hot lunch for her husband, Armin. Wrapping all up against the North of England’s winds, she made her thirty-minute journey to his workplace and back, in time to respond to demanding little mouths.

Off to the market rather than shops, she furthered not only her family budget but that of her sister, whose ailing husband could not work. To this day, many of her offspring are named Leah.

Preparing for Passover’s deluge of two families for the week, anyone offering to help was greeted with her classic, “Don’t bother with me!”

My in-laws flew to Israel regularly to stay with us in Jerusalem once we’d made aliyah. On one of their visits, Ma, in her mid-seventies, suffered a severe asthma attack. As she sat on our couch, wrapped in her powder blue velour dressing gown, her breathing became increasingly more labored. We panicked. What was to be done?

Friends alerted us to the renowned Dr. Jerry Lafair, director of Jerusalem’s Hadassah Hospital Pulmonary Department. But how to get her there in her weakened state?

A desperate call was made. Eventually Dr. Lafair, officially Joel but called Jerry by all, came on the line. He listened intently.

“I’ll be with you soon. Give your address to my secretary.”

What, the head of the department? A home visit? Just like that?

And just like that, our doorbell rang. Dr. Lafair’s slim, gray-suited figure was framed in the doorway of our lounge. His eyes pierced the room, meeting my mother-in-law’s gaze. In he breezed. Straight over and kneeling at her side, eye to eye, he called out a cheery, “How are you today, young lady?”

As she relaxed with pleasure, and her breathlessness gradually subsided, mine increased with admiration. Prescribed medication and several more home visits brought relief. So, together with her devoted husband, she was blessed to share a marriage that lasted almost 60 years.

Phase Three – Non-Prejudice and pride

Understanding my emotional outburst, Leah shared how her father had just celebrated his 90th birthday. In his honor, the family, and Hadassah Hospital, were creating the Dr. Jerry Lafair Award. It will be presented to members of Hadassah’s staff who showed exceptional caring for members of the public, be it secretary, nurse, orderly, or doctor.

“The family is setting up a framework for contributions, and my sister, Margalit Frydman, is coordinating so that we gain more support to establish our unique award,” Leah said.

“Who has published this groundbreaking news? Has Abba been interviewed?”

“No. Absolutely not. Abba is too modest, and there is no way to persuade him to publicize his career.”

“No way? Are you sure….?”

Shrugging, “It would be wonderful. So important, also for the family. But I can’t see how...” her voice trails off wistfully.

That’s how my call to his indomitable Swiss wife, Shoshana, and her many years practicing the art of gentle persuasion, resulted in her excited voice phoning me.

'“Yes! He agreed. And all the family agrees. When will it be possible to meet?”

“As soon as possible, Shoshana. Let’s check our diaries”

Phase Four – Anecdotal accounts

Shoshana’s warm greeting led me in, and there was Dr. Jerry Lafair seated at the head of the table. Yes, he well recalled visiting my mother-in-law, our family, and indeed his regular greeting, “How are you today, young lady?”

Our exploration, aided by his lawyer son Michael, tour guide daughter Margalit, and after-school facilitator Yudit, began.

Stories ranged from his home environment, student days, meeting Shoshana – his version and hers – making aliyah, and medical career were endorsed “True” by Dr. Lafair.

His award-winning sister Dr. Sylvia Lafair, six years his junior, a psychologist in the States, sent anecdotes.

Jerry, whiz kid, was always there to help and defend her. When she called for his help in the sciences, which she had to pass for high school entrance, her brother soon realized she wanted only answers.

He did not answer “True,” rather explaining that because she was a perfectionist, Sylvia wanted to know how he reached those answers.

Sylvia happily agreed to be voted vice president of her class over another who had previously been chosen but was considered boring, whereas she was fun. Big brother gently pricked her excitement.

“Ethics is doing the right thing,” she explained to her surprised teacher when declining the honor. “I have an older brother who convinced me to look at the whole picture rather than just my ego.” How she missed him when he left Philadelphia for his medical studies in Zurich.

Dr. Lafair’s fellow student, electrical engineering Prof. Emeritus George Moschitz, described how this young student soon picked up the language, becoming the darling of the Zurich matrons with unending Shabbat invitations. Importantly, he was proud owner of an enviable electric bicycle. Active in the Jewish students’ association, it included the multi-talented daughter of Rabbi Shmuel Brom, our heroine, Shoshana. An Aha! moment beset students when she and Jerry finally became an “item.”

Jerry described their first meeting. He was invited to a family for dinner and as he knocked on the door, unexpectedly it was opened by another guest... Shoshana. While he was recollecting, in the background intoned their children’s chorus: “Abba, you were smitten,” overridden by a soprano voice with what sounded like “Stuss” (stuff & nonsense) from a blushing Shoshana.

Marrying five years later was, Jerry explained, due to having to establish himself first, while Shoshana softly said, “It was the light hand of God.”

 “Did you say, ‘light hand of God?’”

“Yes. Light. But very light.”

Jerry countered with “Do you know the difference between a doctor and God? God never thinks he’s a doctor!”

Toward the end of his second year following his aliyah, Jerry received Hadassah’s Lecturer of the Year award, though still struggling with oleh chadash Hebrew. And so it was for 33 years that Jerry’s patients came from the highest to the simplest echelons, including rabbis, Bedouin and haredim. It was not rare for Jerry, when on Shabbat call for Hadassah, to walk there for well over an hour, sometimes accompanied by his children.

The Lafairs and Reuven and Bertha Feuerstein were the best of friends. One day, Reuven needed an aortic valve replacement, a rare surgery in Israel but not in the States. Insisting that Jerry be on the medical team, he declared, “If I have to die, let it be in Israel.” Blessedly, he lived productively throughout his many years, and as Prof. Reuven Feuerstein, he founded the Feuerstein Institute.

Prof. Yoram Weiss, director-general of Hadassah, remembered being a young physician when Dr. Jerry Lafair, who retired 33 years ago, was head of the Pulmonary Department. He was known not only as a caring physician but also as a very decent person, a real mensch.

The award, to be made in the name of Dr. Jerry Lafair, tells people that he is recognized and appreciated for his contribution to humanity. Prof. Weiss hoped that Jerry would present the first award, and he excitedly promises to be there.

Jerry seemingly has a name that easily trips off the tongue. But his Hebrew names, prophetically Yehoshua Yoseph, illuminate his path. Yehoshua – (the name means “God’s deliverance”) succeeded Moses and led the Israelites into the Promised Land. The name Joseph means “God will add.” Indeed, adding value to people has been Jerry’s life mission, together with Shoshana (“rose”). Indeed, Shoshana always rose, and rises, to challenges.

Their glorious 61 years together has blessed them with seeing the fourth generation. May they be awarded many more years in good health together with their loving family and friends. And may Dr. Jerry Lafair have the z’chut (merit) of presenting the first certificate to a proud recipient. ■