After October 7, Women’s Month is painful, says Israel Lemonade Fund CEO

For its third Women Leaders Summit, The Jerusalem Post is highlighting women who are leading the way toward our nation’s future, amid the backdrop of the October 7 tragedy and the ongoing Israel-Hamas conflict. Shari Mendes, founder and CEO of the Israel Lemonade Fund for breast cancer emergency relief, will be one of the speakers at the event, which will be held on Wednesday, March 27, at the Google for Startup Campus in Tel Aviv.

How do you believe women’s voices and contributions can be pivotal in shaping a more inclusive and equitable society, particularly in male-dominated industries like tech?

I am not in tech, but I did break into a field that was almost completely dominated by men. I became an architect at a time when only 3% of licensed architects in the US were women. Our generation broke glass ceilings, and we helped younger women architects enter the field by hiring and mentoring them. We have a way to go but at least people are no longer shocked that the woman in the office is the architect, not the receptionist.

In 2011 I founded a charity, the Israel Lemonade Fund, Israel’s first and only breast cancer emergency relief fund, in response to an almost exclusively female need. The impetus was my bout with breast cancer in 2010 when I saw that it was terrifying to be very sick. How does a woman cope, I wondered, if she is also stressed about money if she is poor?

Especially in Israel, with our high rate of genetic women’s cancers, young women are hit disproportionately, mid-career. A serious illness can drag a formerly solvent family into poverty very quickly, as parents (patient or spouse) lose time from work, in addition to having to deal with extra illness-related expenses such as childcare, transportation to treatment, etc. Now, 13 years later, the Lemonade Fund is nationwide, providing an economic safety net for any Israeli citizen regardless of religion, ethnicity, or sex so that Israeli breast cancer patients can breathe while they are in treatment, and focus on recovery.

The Lemonade Fund started around my dining room table, a grassroots group of women helping other women. These are two examples of how women can help other women and change the world.

As we commemorate Women’s Month, could you share a personal experience or story highlighting the impact of women’s leadership and innovation in your field and how it has contributed to positive change?

This year, I must confess, Women’s Month is painful. I am shocked and disappointed at women’s groups around the world.

I had always thought that the bonds that hold women together are stronger than any that could divide us. Despite not always agreeing with the politics of my sisters, I marched with them shoulder to shoulder on women’s issues. Beneath our different skins, religions, clothing, and flags, we shared the same biology. We were all equally vulnerable physically and I never questioned that we would all defend each other if our female bodies were threatened, especially with sexual violence.

I was called into service on October 7 to a special army reserve unit, at the Shura Army Rabbinate base, that was trained to deal with all tasks related to deceased female Israeli soldiers. Many female soldiers were murdered on October 7, and it was our job to accompany them through the identification process as well as prepare them for burial.

The days and weeks that followed were unimaginable in both scale and horror. Our unit is composed of civilian women, not forensic professionals, but we were suddenly witness to instances of terrible physical mutilation and cruelty. It soon became clear in Israel that there was a pattern of sexual violence that was deliberately aimed at women by Hamas terrorists. Since October 7, considerable evidence and eyewitness testimony have emerged, but the full story will likely never be known since most of the victims were murdered and thus silenced.

I was sure that my sisters all over the world would immediately rise to protest this outrage against Israeli women, as we all always did against all previous instances of sexual violence around the world. I did not ask to see rape kits before believing my Yazidi sisters. I believe my sisters from Ukraine, from Kosovo. Because that is what we do with women who are victims of sexual abuse - we believe them. It takes such courage for a woman to come forward that we risk victimizing them a second time if we doubt their truth.

And yet, we Israeli women have been stunned by the silence of most of our sisters. The majority of women’s rights groups have yet to condemn the violence perpetrated against our mothers, daughters, aunts, cousins, grandmothers, and neighbors on October 7. In this case only, in the recent history of modern sisterhood, we Israel women have been deserted - we are alone. Though I marched for women’s rights, the majority of the silent women of the world now can’t seem to see me or our pain. Some even go so far as to deny that sexual violence even happened here at all. It is difficult to understand the level of hate that must be necessary to abdicate sisterhood. Especially at a time when we Israeli women (of all religions, by the way) need it most.

I and some other Israelis have been doing the best we can to bear witness, to give testimony, but I can hardly call this positive change. It is the least we can do for those whose voices have been cruelly silenced. We will continue to speak for them.

I would like to think that it is not too late for international women’s groups to wake up and stand with us, their Israeli sisters.

The aftermath of tragic events like October 7 often calls for introspection and action. How can we leverage technology and innovation at this time? And what role can women leaders play in driving this change?

The war has both hardened and softened us. We have seen the worst in humanity, but we have also seen incredible kindness in the volunteerism and charity of our fellow Israelis and Jews. No one stood aside, we all jumped in to help. The Lemonade Fund lost staff who were called up for reserve duty in the army, but volunteers quickly filled their shoes.

How can we innovate? We can pivot, multi-task, and problem-solve as women do especially well. On October 15, the Lemonade Fund pivoted to a war footing, raising extra funds to give wartime grants to cancer patients (not only breast cancer) directly impacted by the war. As a result, 133 grants were allocated to cancer patients who had been evacuated and were now far from treatment centers, whose [people acting as] support systems had been drafted, or worse, kidnapped or murdered.

An expedited application allowed allocation to be almost immediate and we were told by hospital social workers that these NIS 1,800 wartime grants were the first aid that these people received. We are continuing to give special aid to cancer patients impacted by the war in addition to our regular grants.

Women continue to face barriers and biases in the workplace. What strategies or initiatives have you found effective in breaking through these barriers, and what advice would you give to other women aspiring to leadership roles in your industry?

In any male-dominated field, I would suggest that women find mentors and not be afraid to ask for help. Specifically rely on women who are ahead of you. Do not let anything be a barrier, keep pushing forward.

As we strive for progress and empowerment, collaboration and solidarity are crucial. How do you envision fostering a supportive environment that uplifts and amplifies women’s voices within your industry and beyond?Our charity works closely and directly with social workers, who are overwhelmingly female. We work in a collaborative, supportive environment of women that we created together because it is the most natural for us.

very single application we review, discuss, and collaborate on, is a harmonious collection of voices of compassion and loving kindness, mixed with practical tactics to get our business done – whether it’s feeding children, buying school supplies, or paying rent. That’s the supportive environment that uplifts women’s voices to action: singularity of purpose, commitment, and common sense.

Watch the Women Leaders Summit on Jpost.com.