One year later: The father of a soldier killed on Oct. 7 finds meaning with loss

A few months ago, my cousin, who is studying at Ulpan Etzion, invited me to go with her to hear a talk at the ulpan by David “Dudu” Tahar, the father of Sgt. Adir Tahar, who fell in battle on Oct. 7, 2023, at the Erez Crossing. The way in which Dudu shared his son’s deeply painful yet courageous and moving story touched me, and I knew that I had to share it, too. 

Adir, aged 19, was a sniper in the Golani Brigade’s Unit 13. He had originally wanted to be a pilot but decided at the last minute to join Golani. 

“He wanted to be on the ground,” Dudu said. Adir had only been in the army for 11 months, of which two months had been spent at the Erez Crossing, before that fateful Oct. 7.

Dudu recalled what he had managed to piece together of the events of that day and the previous night. 

“On October 6, Adir was on guard duty until about 1 a.m. on Saturday. When the new guard came to switch with him, Adir stayed with him until about 3 a.m. He then went back to his room and spoke to his girlfriend, Shaked, on the phone until about 4:30 a.m. At 4:30 a.m. he went to sleep, and then around 6 a.m. he was awakened because there were reports of infiltration and incoming rockets.”

Adir quickly grabbed his gear, called his commander Roey (May he rest in peace), and together with two other soldiers, they went into battle, where they were met with “many dozens of terrorists,” said Dudu. The battle lasted at least an hour, and they killed “a not insignificant number of terrorists.” 

Adir continued to fight, despite being fired at by an RPG several times. But tragically, he fell in battle along with Sgt. Ariel Erez, Staff Sgt. Roey Weiser, and Staff Sgt. Daniel Moshe Danino.

DUDU SHARED how he later discovered that the barbaric terrorists had defiled Adir’s body by beheading him and had then attempted to ransom his head in Gaza for $10,000.

“In interrogations, they said that for every IDF soldier’s head they brought back, they would be rewarded with a home and $10,000. It’s not something made up; it’s something they said.” 

Dudu described how he insisted on seeing his son’s body, despite the IDF strongly advising him not to.

Adir is survived by his parents, David and Sigal; his two brothers, Oz and Sagi; and his sister, Sapir. He was buried on October 10, 2023, on Jerusalem’s Mount Herzl. A second burial was held in December after Adir’s head was retrieved from Gaza by IDF soldiers belonging to the Special Forces Unit in a risky operation and brought back to Israel. To even contemplate the barbarism of these terrorists and the pain that the Tahar family endured – and is still enduring – is unfathomable. 

Speaking to Dudu Tahar one year later

I went to hear Dudu speak again, this time at a mahal hagvura (“camp of courage”) – one of several set up by bereaved families in various locations in Jerusalem – long with Yisrael Weiser, the father of Roey Weiser (may he rest in peace). There, I had the bittersweet pleasure of meeting Adir’s younger brother, Sagi, and Adir’s fellow comrades, some of whom had fought alongside him on that fateful day. 

I could tell how loved Adir was and how much he is missed. 

As he spoke, Dudu’s pride in his son was clear behind the pain in his eyes: “I can tell you that Adir’s death and his heroism on that day – what he did to fight and save people – is something that fills our hearts with pride, indeed with pride and sadness.”

Dudu and other family members of fallen soldiers encourage the public to go to mahal hagvura, to share and hear the stories of fallen soldiers and to continue their legacy. 

“I think that the nation of Israel and our soldiers proved what our nation is built of. I’m talking about the soldiers, not the big officers; that interests me less. But those very soldiers who fought, we owe them our lives. We must always cherish them. I think that, as a nation, we have to be proud of these soldiers, to support them, and help them so that they will understand that the nation of Israel loves them and embraces them. It is very important,” Dudu said. 

A friend of Adir’s, Raz Bahima, a soldier from his unit who fought alongside him, added: “For us as soldiers, it really strengthens us when you talk about our friends and praise us and the army. Come – it only does good.”

LAST MONTH, I was invited by Dudu and his family to a hachnasat Sefer Torah (dedication of a Torah scroll) in memory of Adir at his sister’s home in Jerusalem, marking almost a year since his death. Many people filled the apartment: Relatives, friends, and loved ones were all there to memorialize and honor Adir’s life. The apartment was so full, that people streamed out onto the street outside. The ceremony began with the sofer (scribe) writing the last few letters in the Torah scroll. I had the personal honor of observing the last letter being written. 

Everyone then went outside for the afternoon prayer, and to say the prayers for the new Torah scroll. At one point, those present released white balloons into the sky, representing solidarity with and commemoration of the fallen soldiers, hostages, and victims of the Supernova festival. Then, we all walked down the street, following the Sefer Torah, which was carried under a canopy toward the synagogue as is customary on such occasions, accompanied by music and such uplifting Israeli songs as “Am Yisrael Chai” blaring from the loudspeakers. 

The event was extremely moving and powerful. I will never forget it. 

Adir Tahar, may you rest in peace. To Adir’s family and all the bereaved families, I offer you my deepest condolences and what comfort I can. I will never understand your pain. I wish you strength during this dark time, and I pray, along with the nation of Israel, that all the hostages will be brought home now, and that we have a more peaceful year.

FOLLOWING THE tragedy of Oct. 7, thousands of Israeli citizens have taken it upon themselves to set up initiatives to assist those affected by the war (bereaved families, hostages, soldiers, etc.). The solidarity and unity of our nation is truly remarkable. Of these initiatives, many places known as chamal – an acronym for heder milchamah (“war room”), meaning operations centers – were established, where volunteers flock and gather to cook food for soldiers in battle. 

For example, the Oz Le’amo Yisrael Chamal, at 21 Shlomo Duga Street in Gilo, was established by Michael Cohen and cooks approximately 3500 meals for soldiers every week. Cohen is a family friend of the Tahars’.

He said: “Last December, Dudu came to speak at the chamal, and that’s how it all began. Since then, we have taken it upon ourselves to always talk about Adir and to continue his legacy. We have already prepared meals in memory of Adir and other soldiers who fell in battle. For me, it is very important that the volunteers who come here know the stories of these fallen soldiers.”  

Oz Le’amo Yisrael Chamal welcomes more volunteers. To volunteer or contribute, go to hamaljerusalem.com or contact Michael Cohen at 053-272-9933.