Rabbis must stop defending child molesters, instead of those sexually abused - opinion

It all seems so innocuous.

A community member ends up on the wrong side of the law, and prestigious individuals are called upon to write letters of support on their behalf, hoping to lighten the punishment being meted out by the judge in their case. Surely alleviating the suffering of this person’s family members, who have done nothing wrong, should be of paramount importance.

It seems obvious that we want respected authority figures to say that, yes, this person may have committed egregious errors, but looking at the broader picture, their many redeeming qualities should make them deserving of at least some leniency, doesn’t it?

I’m sure that in many instances, the answer to that question would be yes. But in the case of certain events, such as the one I am about to describe, the answer is an emphatic and unequivocal no.

Recently, it came to light that more than a dozen letters were written several years ago by rabbis, heads of major organizations, community leaders and physicians on behalf of a person who readily admitted that he was guilty of sexually abusing two minors on multiple occasions.

These eloquent petitions for judicial mercy explained how this individual was an enormous ba’al tzedakah who leaped at the opportunity to help others, and how he has shown remorse for his actions, and suffered the loss of his livelihood, his communal standing, and even his wife.  

Rekindling trauma 

But those pronouncements of sterling character and hardship are an outrage in the face of the unspeakable pain that they caused. The hard truth is that having prominent individuals extolling the virtues of a sexual predator can be triggering for any victim of sexual abuse, creating tsunamis of betrayal and isolation as their personal trauma is rekindled. And to make matters worse, they see our rabbis and leaders making the inexplicable decision to defend the monsters who prey on the vulnerable, instead of championing the rights of those who have been victimized.  

Sadly, I saw that reality playing out in front of my own eyes over the last few days. Within 24 hours of these letters being publicized, I heard from two victims of childhood sexual abuse. Both were completely distraught to discover people who are looked up to in our circles praising a pedophile’s character and advocating for him and his family.

Both felt abandoned and shattered by communal leaders pledging their allegiance to an admitted child molester. And both found themselves questioning the very foundations of their existence, with these letters completely destroying their faith in our rabbonim.

But there is also is another matter to be addressed here – communal leaders lending their signatures to causes without doing their due diligence. Rabbi Moshe Weinberger readily admitted to me that he would never have issued the statement of support that he authored nearly four years ago had he been aware of the full scope of the situation, truths that were conveniently omitted by those who asked him to endorse the individual in question.

Acknowledging that he should have investigated the matter on his own to determine the true facts, Rabbi Weinberger proved himself to be a true leader, recording a video apologizing to sexual abuse victims for adding to their pain, and offering his help in any way possible.

It's been ten years since Amudim first opened its doors, and while it seemed as if we were making steady progress over that time, this incident leaves me filled with doubt.

I was so sure that our community was finally demonstrating its willingness to share the pain of sexual abuse victims, and living up to its promise to support them as they continued on the long road to healing. But this saga clearly demonstrates that while our leaders have applauded sexual abuse victims for their bravery, at least some of those same role models are still throwing them under the bus.

I don’t know how to restore the public trust that has been eroded here, but I do know that every misstep presents an opportunity for growth and learning. It isn’t enough to say that we support and embrace victims of sexual abuse – our actions have to demonstrate that as well.  

We need to show support for those who have been horribly violated, not those who have perpetrated those deviant crimes. Doing anything less than that, whether knowingly or unknowingly, is the equivalent of plunging a knife into the heart of those who have been abused, retraumatizing them.

A plea to community leaders

Finally, I respectfully turn to our rabanim, community leaders, organizational heads, and physicians with a personal message. I know you all lead extraordinarily busy lives, but blindly affixing your name to the cause du jour without taking the time to fully assess all the facts at hand can have devastating consequences that can undermine you, as well as innocent individuals. With that in mind, I humbly implore you to follow Rabbi Weinberger’s example and publicly apologize for your actions. This is your opportunity to do the right thing and restore faith in our community and our values. 

To borrow a line from President Harry Truman, the buck stops here. Every member of our community, no matter who they are, must take responsibility for their actions and throw their support behind those who deserve it most. And while that is an obligation we must all shoulder as individuals, it is exponentially more critical for our rabbis and leaders, the role models that we should be looking up to and emulating. Sadly, they failed miserably in this case.

Grave mistakes were made here. The question is, are we ready to learn from them?

Zvi Gluck is the CEO of Amudim, an organization dedicated to helping abuse victims and those suffering with addiction within the Jewish community and has been heavily involved in crisis intervention and management for the past 24 years. For more information go to www.amudim.org.