Purim Shpiel: Biden to airlift Trump to Gaza
Purim Shpiel: The following is a satirical article from The Jerusalem Post's annual parodic Purim page, The Jerusalem Roast. Enjoy!
Following the successful US airlifts of humanitarian aid into Gaza, US President Joe Biden and Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu have agreed on a mutually beneficial move to secure the frayed relations between their two countries.
Biden issued an executive order last week that will airlift his main contender for the presidency, Donald Trump, into Gaza to broker a deal between Israel and Hamas. Leaflets are being dropped throughout the Strip warning residents to stay off the streets when the 300-pound candidate is parachuted in, lest his girth cause harm to innocent bystanders.
The move is seen by analysts as a win-win for both Biden and Netanyahu. For the incumbent president, it effectively removes his only opponent in the upcoming presidential race in the US. And, despite his ongoing tensions with Biden, Netanyahu is dreading a return of Trump to the White House.
Trump is still as perturbed as an 11-year-old jealous girl that Netanyahu phoned Biden to congratulate him on his victory in 2020.
Trump to be joined by Jan. 6 rioters
When asked about the upcoming mission, Trump said he would be joined by the people who are serving sentences in prison in connection to the January 6, 2021, riot at the Capitol in Washington.
“Those Hamas crybabies won’t know what hit them when these unbelievable patriots storm their gates,” said Trump, in between bites of a Big Mac.
Reports that Netanyahu requested that Biden include Sen. Chuck Schumer in the airlift could not be confirmed by press time.
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