Every word has a tremendous impact

Rabbi Yoshiyahu Pinto’s talks are known throughout the Jewish world. They combine chassidic teachings and philosophy, along with tips for a better life. We have collected pearls from his teachings that are relevant to our daily lives. This week he comments on the Torah section of Vayigash.

"And Judah approached him, and he said, ‘Please, my lord, let your servant speak in the ears of my lord, and do not become angry with your servant, for you are like Pharaoh.’" (44:18)

A dramatic climax opens our Torah section. Judah comes to Joseph - who he doesn’t yet know is his brother - and threateningly demands that he return Benjamin to them. The Midrash (Breishit Rabbah 33:8) says that the tribes planned to battle Joseph if necessary to bring Benjamin back and Judah had even sent Naftali to scout the markets of Egypt in preparation to destroy them.

But a crucial question presents itself. When Joseph suspected them of having stolen the cup, Judah said "If so, we will be slaves to my lord, we as well as the one in whose hand the cup was found." He had declared that if this would happen, all the brothers would be slaves to Pharaoh. Joseph however responded, "I would never do such a thing! The person in whose hand the cup will be found will be my servant, and you shall return in peace to your father." 

Even though initially Judah agreed that they would all be his slaves, Joseph negated that possibility and says he will send them all free. He would only retain as his slave the brother who took the cup. So why now does Judah want to destroy all of Egypt if only one brother is held back? Judah further adds "because you are like Pharaoh" - a veiled threat to kill Joseph and Pharaoh if they do not give back Benjamin. He had already declared they would be slaves if the cup is found with one of them, and now he suddenly backtracks? What prompted Judah’s turnabout?

The important lesson we will learn from this is that a person has to be careful with what he says. The Torah tells us that when our patriarch Abraham took Isaac to bind him on the altar, he took Ishmael and Eliezer with him. When Abraham saw the place from afar, he told Ishmael and Eliezer, "Stay here with the donkey, and I and the boy will go further, bow down and return to you" (Genesis 22:5). Our rabbis say that because Abraham opened his mouth and said something good ("And I and the boy will go... and return to you") he merited that Isaac did not die and returned with him. If he had opened his mouth and said something with a ominous meaning, like “I will return alone,” this is what would have happened. This is why our rabbis say (Moed Katan 18a) that a person should only use his mouth for good.

The prophet Amos said, (4:13) "For behold, He forms mountains and creates the wind, and declares to man what his speech is..." The Gemara explains on this (Hagiga 5:2): Rav said that even a light-hearted conversation between a man and his wife is told to a person at the time of death.

People think that what they say is unimportant, but from the fact that God created the world with speech, we should understand the preeminence of speech. Every word that comes out of a person’s mouth is extremely important. Therefore, Rav’s explanation that God will show a person at the moment of his death even his light-hearted speech to his wife was put in a verse that teaches that God created everything through speech. Every word that a person utters has a great impact including even an incidental comment.

People sometimes lose all their money, and shout and go wild because of their own malicious words. They opened their mouths to the Satan and the Satan takes the words they said and makes them come true. Therefore, a person should be very careful with what he lets out of his mouth.

This realization can also be seen with our patriarch Jacob. The tribes led by Reuben came the first time to ask Jacob to let them take Benjamin to Egypt because the viceroy wanted to see him, and if Benjamin would not go down with them, Joseph would not believe them. Jacob would not consent and he said to them, "My son shall not go down with you, because his brother is dead, and he alone is left, and if misfortune befalls him on the way you are going..." (Genesis 42:38). Why did Jacob say the superfluous words "you are going"? Obviously if they are on the way, they are going!

It can be explained like this: Reuben told Jacob, “Give me Benjamin and I will be a guarantor for him. Take my two sons as collateral and if I do not return Benjamin to you, you can kill them.” Ya'akov said to Reuben, “The path you're going on - opening your mouth to the Satan - is dangerous, so my son will not go with you. If you can tell a grandfather to kill his two grandsons, then you have carelessly opened your mouth to the Satan and Benjamin won't go with you, lest a misfortune happens.”

We can explain in the same vein why the tribes were initially punished and caused anguish by thinking that Joseph would take them as slaves. The first time Joseph accused them of taking money from him, the tribes said, "We are being summoned about the money that was returned in our sacks the first time so he can concoct a plot against us, blame us and take us as slaves as well as our donkeys." (Genesis 43:18). Because the tribes opened their mouths to Satan and said that Joseph wanted to take them as slaves, they thought they were being punished with him wanting to take everyone as slaves. But Judah disagreed and said, “If we opened our mouths to the Satan, then we should all be slaves. But if the viceroy only wants Benjamin, then it's not because we opened our mouths to the Satan but because the viceroy is scheming against us.” That’s why Judah approached Joseph and threateningly demanded that he return Benjamin to them.

The important lesson we learn from this is that everything that comes out of a person's mouth - will happen in the end. There is a “covenant with the lips.” Everything that happened to the tribes, everything that happened to our patriarch Abraham and everything that happened in all generations, was caused by what comes out of our mouths. If a person speaks bad, he will have it bad, but a person who speaks only good will have only good.

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This article was written in cooperation with Shuva Israel