Rabbi Pinto: Segulah for finding mate, earning living

Rabbi Yoshiyahu Pinto’s talks are known throughout the Jewish world. They combine chassidic teachings and philosophy, along with tips for a better life. We have collected pearls from his teachings that are relevant to our daily lives. This week he comments on the Torah section of Beshalach.

“And He turned the sea into dry land and the waters split.” (Exodus 10:21)

Our rabbis tell us in tractate Sota 2a: “Rabbi Bar Bar Hanna said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: Finding one’s match is as difficult as tearing apart the Red Sea.” Regarding a person’s sustenance, the Gemara says (Pesachim 118a): “Rav said in the name of Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah: A person's sustenance is as difficult as tearing apart the Red Sea.”

We have to understand why the Torah mentions "and the waters split" (beki’at Yam Suf) when talking about the Red Sea, while the Sages use the expression “tearing apart the Red Sea” (kri’at Yam Suf). What is the difference between splitting and tearing apart?

Another question: if finding one’s match and making a living are as difficult as tearing apart the Red Sea, what was the special merit that allowed the Red Sea to tear apart and which also grants sustenance and a soul mate to a person?

The first time a thing is cut into two is termed “splitting”. Tearing apart, on the other hand, occurs to something that was whole and cut, glued together and then cut again. “Tearing apart” is the term for when something separated was made whole, and is then torn apart a second time.

This helps us understand a point that our sages say about the Israelites after they left Egypt and reached the Red Sea. God tore apart the sea for them, but there were two Israelites, Dathan and Abiram, who did not go with the Israelites and who remained in the land of Egypt to help Pharaoh. When Pharaoh said, “They are trapped in the land. The desert has closed in upon them", the Targum Yonatan explains that Pharaoh was talking to Dathan and Abiram, the Israelites who had remained in Egypt. When Pharaoh went in pursuit of the Israelites to reclaim his slaves, they went along with him. When Pharaoh drowned in the Red Sea, Dathan and Abiram wanted to cross the Red Sea to join their Israelite brothers, and God performed a miracle for them and the sea parted once more for them.

Our sages therefore teach us that there were two times the Red Sea split. The first time the sea split for the Israelites and the Israelites passed through the sea on dry land. After that, the water returned to its place and the Egyptians drowned in the sea. After the Egyptians died, the sea split again for Dathan and Abiram and they crossed the sea in a great miracle all alone.

The answer to our original question involves understanding how the two splittings of the sea were different. When the Torah talks about the 'splitting' of the Red Sea, it is referring to the first time the sea split to enable the Israelites to escape. But when our sages say that a person's sustenance and marriage are as difficult as the tearing apart of the Red Sea, they are talking about the second division of the sea - the one that took place for Dathan and Abiram. This was a “tearing apart”, coming after the sea had already split once and went back to its prior state.

What merit did Dathan and Abiram have that the sea split for them?

Our sages explain that Dathan and Aviram were taskmasters in the land of Egypt. When the Egyptians enslaved the Israelites, they would put an Israelite in charge who would be a taskmaster for each team of working Israelites. If the Israelites did not work to the Egyptians’ satisfaction, the Egyptian overseers would beat the Israelite taskmasters and they would beat the Israelites to get them to do the work. 

Our sages say that as wicked as they were, Dathan and Abiram didn’t want to cause more suffering to the Israelites. If an Israelite didn’t do the work demanded by the Egyptians, Dathan and Abiram took the blows, but would not beat the Israelites or pressure them. Despite them being wicked and remaining with Pharaoh when the other Israelites left, because Dathan and Abiram suffered blows from the Egyptians but wouldn’t beat their brothers, they merited that the Red Sea split for them alone. 

During the Israelites’ sojourn in the desert, every time there was a crisis, Dathan and Abiram were usually the culprits. They time and again caused grief to Moses and the Israelites. Despite that record, since they suffered from the Egyptians but wouldn’t beat the Israelites, they received their own private splitting of the Red Sea.

A Jew who accepts suffering upon himself but won’t cause suffering to other Jews attains a lofty status. Such a Jew has achieved the highest virtue to the point that he is deserving of having the Red Sea split for him.

Now let us go back to the words of our sages who say that a man's marriage and his making a livelihood is as difficult as tearing apart the Red Sea. If a person wants to know in what merit the sea was split a second time for Dathan and Aviram, the answer is because they suffered for the Israelites but refused to cause suffering to them.

A person who is looking for a special spiritual medium to gain a livelihood or a soul mate, wants to quickly find his match, or wants to improve his livelihood, has a spiritual mechanism he can utilize. It is to suffer for his fellow Jews while being careful not to cause them any suffering. If there is something that is causing grief to Jews and he takes it upon himself to save them from that grief, then thanks to his actions he will soon merit a proper match. Due to the grief that he feels for them but wouldn’t do to them, he will earn a comfortable and bountiful livelihood.

This article was written in cooperation with Shuva Israel