Tu B'Av: Everything you need to know about the Jewish holiday of love and romance - explainer

It's summertime, and that means many things for Jews and Israelis all over the world. But aside from the heat, later Shabbat times, fast days, and summer camps, there's another ancient Jewish tradition associated with this season: Tu B'Av.

While not very well-known internationally, Tu B'Av is actually a very old Jewish holiday associated with love. Today, especially in Israel, it is often seen as a Jewish version or alternative to the Christian day of love, Valentine's Day.

Now, this is a bit misleading for two reasons. Firstly, Tu B'Av predates Valentine's Day by centuries, and secondly, Valentine's Day isn't even a Christian holiday as we know it, with much of the romantic aspects believed to have been the creation of late Medieval European figures such as Geoffrey Chaucer. 

Regardless, Tu B'Av is a very old holiday, and its traditions and celebrations have evolved throughout Jewish history.

Here is everything you need to know.

What is Tu B'Av?

Tu B'Av is a Jewish holiday described as far back as the Mishna. 

Unlike other Jewish holidays, the observance of Tu B'Av is rabbinic rather than something outright mentioned in the Torah. 

However, it is still at least two thousand years old, having been mentioned in Tractate Ta'anit of the Mishna. 

Ostensibly, the holiday was meant to mark the start of the grape harvest period, which ended with Yom Kippur. However, rabbinic literature would further posit several other events that the holiday was meant to commemorate. These include, but are not limited to:

• The removal of sentries along the border of the Kingdom of Israel and Judah, allowing Jews from the North to go on pilgrimages to Jerusalem
• The members of the Tribe of Benjamin were allowed back into the greater Israelite community following the Benjaminite War
• When the death of a generation of Jews in the desert ended before the Israelites began their entry into the Land of Israel 40 years after the Exodus
• When members of the different tribes of Israel were allowed to intermarry among themselves (something specifically tied to the biblical story of the daughters of Tzelophechad)
• When the Romans allowed the Jews killed at the Battle of Beitar to finally be buried years later

In addition, one non-rabbinic source, the Jewish-Roman historian Josephus, suggested another possible significance for the date. According to him, it was the day wood offerings were brought to the Temple in Jerusalem. While this day is noted in the Torah, specifically in the Book of Nehemiah 13:31, no date is ascribed to it. But in Josephus's writings, this day, which he referred to as the Feast of Xylophory, was the 15th day of the month of Av. 

Another aspect is that around Tu B'Av, the nights start to get longer and cooler. This, in ancient times and to a large extent today as well, is a climate better suited for Torah study rather than suffering through brutal summer heat.

However, the holiday also has a known and ancient association with love and romance. 

When is Tu B'Av?

Tu B'Av's date is literally in its name, Tu B'Av, as in the 15th day of the Hebrew month of Av. 

The date is notable for a few reasons. First, the fact that it is on the 15th of the month means it coincides with the full moon - a trait it shares with many other Jewish holidays. In addition, the full moon in many ancient cultures is often associated with love and fertility.

Secondly, this is just six days after the fast day of Tisha B'Av, a day of tragedy where Jews mark the destruction of both Temples of Jerusalem, their people sent into exile, and a vast number of other tragedies associated with the day. 

Though it is unclear if this was intentional, over time, many rabbis have attached great religious significance to the proximity of these two dates, as well as to another holiday: Yom Kippur.

What is the connection between Tu B'Av and Tisha B'Av?

A day of love and romance and a day of mourning and tragedy could not seem more diametrically opposed. However, there is more to this connection than meets the eye. 

Tu B'Av's timing puts it at the end of a typical Jewish mourning period, also known as shiva, which should have begun on Tisha B'Av. As such, one can infer that it is a day of relief and healing. 

The fact that Tu B'Av is a popular day for weddings, even though weddings are forbidden in the three-week period between the 17th of Tammuz and Tisha B'Av, further reinforces the idea of Tu B'Av being a relief and a day of love, another side to same coin as Tisha B'Av. 

Another connection between the two days is the idea of the Messiah's arrival. 

Many Jews believe that the Messiah will come, either born or revealing himself, on Tisha B'Av, after which Tisha B'Av will no longer be a day of tragedy but rather a holiday. 

According to 19th century hassidic leader and Jewish thinker Rabbi Zadok HaKohen of Lublin, Tu B'Av is the day when another aspect of the Messianic era will occur. According to him, it is the day when the Third Temple will be built, undoing the destruction that occurred on Tisha B'Av. 

However, even more poignant is the holiday's connection to Yom Kippur.

How is Tu B'Av connected to Yom Kippur?

Yom Kippur is the holiest day in Judaism. It is a 25-hour fast marked by very solemn prayer and is the only holiday whose observance supersedes Shabbat. The day itself is meant to indicate judgment and atonement, marking the end of the Ten Days of Repentance. 

Like Tisha B'Av, such a holiday would seem diametrically opposed to Tu B'Av. And yet, even during the time of the Mishna, rabbis were already touting the connection between the two days. 

As stated by Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel in Tractate Ta'anit 4:8, "There were no days of joy in Israel greater than Tu B'Av and Yom Kippur."

This connection is further elaborated on in the Talmud. 

Immediately, the rabbis understood why Yom Kippur is a day of joy, as it is a day of pardons and forgiveness, another side to the same coin as repentance and judgment. In addition, Yom Kippur is when the second set of tablets was given to the Israelites by Mount Sinai after Moses shattered the first pair due to the sin of the golden calf. 

This is where the Talmud then explained the many events Tu B'Av commemorated, almost all of which had to do with forgiveness, repentance, and acceptance. 

A more overt connection is how both holidays are meant to signify the atonement of the Jewish people for two monumental sins committed during the 40 years in the desert. Yom Kippur marked atonement for the sin of the golden calf, while Tu B'Av marked the atonement for the sin of the spies. This is signified by the ending of the death of a generation in the desert, which was punishment for the sin of the spies, as well as God once again beginning to speak to Moses directly after 40 years. 

Another connection is the grape harvest aspect. While the grape harvest began on Tu B'Av, it ended on Yom Kippur. This inherently linked the two days together and also may have led to the idea of beginning to prepare for Yom Kippur on Tu B'Av.

The connection is so strong that, according to the former chief rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau, it was customary to use the greeting ketiva vehatima tova, meaning "may your inscription and seal be for good," on Tu B'Av as well as on Rosh Hashanah, a day also inherently linked to Yom Kippur.

Lastly, the connection involved a facet of observance. On both Tu B'Av and Yom Kippur, women wore white and went out into the vineyards to dance.

How was Tu B'Av observed in ancient times?

During the days of the Second Temple, Tu B'Av was often known as a day of matchmaking. 

As previously stated, the Mishna describes this process as seeing "the daughters of Jerusalem," meaning the unmarried young women, to go into the vineyards, dress in white clothes, and dance. There, they would attempt to beckon over young men to choose a wife. Likewise, unmarried men would go to these dancing women in the vineyards to find a wife. 

In the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Ta'anit 31a, the rabbis go into greater detail about how this worked.

The daughter of the king would borrow white clothing from the daughter of the High Priest. The High Priest's daughter would borrow from the daughter of the deputy High Priest. The deputy High Priest's daughter would borrow from the daughter of the priest anointed for war. The war priest's daughter would borrow from the daughter of a common priest. After that, all Jewish women would borrow from each other.

The goal of this tradition was to make sure no one was shamed and excluded for not owning their own white clothes. According to commentary from the Chidushei Agadot, this further linked to why everyone wears white: It made everyone equal, avoiding embarrassment and not shaming anyone who also may have only owned white clothes. This is also why everyone always borrowed from someone lower than them on the social ladder, as well as why no one borrowed from the same person they had just lent clothes to. 

The only other religious customs associated with Tu B'Av are that one does not say the Tahanun prayer, that a bride and groom do not need to fast on their wedding day, and the idea that one should study Torah more as the nights get longer and cooler.

How is Tu B'Av observed today?

Tu B'Av is still a day of matchmaking in the modern era, but it has grown into so much more. 

Outside of Israel, Jews often just see it as Jewish Valentine's Day, and thus all the normal Valentine's Day practices of dating and presents and more tend to occur on Tu B'Av. And that's only if Jews outside of Israel are even aware of it since it is not as popular in the Diaspora.

In Israel, however, Tu B'Av is far more popular than Valentine's Day and is interestingly observed as a day of love and romance by Jews of all stripes and denominations, from fully secular Jews to traditional Jews, modern Orthodox Jews, and National Religious Jews, and ultra-Orthodox Jews. 

The holiday had certain unique observances in the pre-state era of Israel, especially as a reference to Tu B'Av grew in Hebrew, Jewish, and Zionist writings. Indeed, there were towns in pre-state Israel where many people would gather to celebrate with dancing or with wine - in recognition of the grape harvest. One of the most notable of these places was Rishon Lezion, where celebrations for Tu B'Av coincided with the fact that the town itself - now Israel's fourth-largest city - was founded on the very same day.

Back in 1912, The Deer, the news outlet founded by Eliezer Ben-Yehuda, called for Tu B'Av to be a national holiday.

Tu B'Av, for years, was also associated with music.

In 1952, the Zimria Choir Festival was launched in Israel on Tu B'Av. While it is still held every three years, it is no longer exclusively held on Tu B'Av. 

It also was the day the major Israeli music festival, Leil Ahava Be'Samakh, also known as Night of Love in Samakh, was held. It has been held every year since 1978 until it ceased running in the early 2000s.

In some places, such as Shilo, it isn't uncommon for women to go to fields for folk dancing in honor of the traditions written down in the Mishna. 

Lastly, there is also a large tradition among many haredi Jews to mark Tu B'Av as a day of Torah study as nights start to get longer.