Parashat Naso: Coping with exposure to the world's impurities

In the weekly Torah portion Naso, we read about two consecutive halachic subjects. One deals with the sotah – a married woman who cheated on her husband and had an intimate relationship with another man. In contrast, the second topic concerns the laws of the nazir (monk) – someone who wishes to rise to the level of a quasi-priest and undertakes to follow laws similar to that of the priest, for a limited period (avoiding drinking wine, shaving his hair, and being in proximity to the dead).

Many biblical scholars and commentators over the generations have questioned the juxtaposition of these two topics. The Talmud offers an answer in the name of Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi, who says: Why is the portion of a nazir (Numbers, Chapter 6) placed adjacent to the portion of a sotah (Numbers, Chapter 5)? This was done to tell you that anyone who sees a sotah in her disgrace should renounce wine (Babylonian Talmud, Sotah, page 2).

Thus, the monk who undertakes to ascend to a high level of holiness does so after being exposed to an inappropriate situation. It can be assumed that even though it was unintentional that he was exposed to the ugly actions of the sotah, he felt the need to become a nazir, which includes ceasing to drink wine and not engaging in the pleasures of this world.

Exposure to any kind of behavior affects us

THEREIN LIES a great truth, which we often try to deny: Being exposed to any kind of behavior, whether positive or negative, affects us.

When we are exposed to negative actions, rude talk, and cheap behavior, all these affect us and seep into our consciousness, which we want to keep clean and pure. On the other hand, when we are exposed to noble deeds and honorable behavior, we are influenced in a positive way and become better people.

This is true for everyone, but it is especially true, and sometimes critical, concerning children and teenagers. Exposing children and teenagers to various topics not only affects them but actually shapes their worldview, way of thinking, and outlook on life.

Sometimes parents do stupid things. We educate our children with our values, virtues, and faith, yet allow them to be exposed to opposite influences that are frequently more powerful than the education we provide.

What can we do? Do we have a way to deal with the flood of information, with its culture that has broken down all boundaries and accepts everything as appropriate? 

Our role as parents and teachers is to learn and teach the young how to cope, set limits, overcome temptations, and block access to inappropriate content. The rule “anyone who sees a sotah in her disgrace should renounce wine” has never been more relevant. Inevitably, we are exposed to ideas that the pure soul hates, and we can only face these and deal with them by increasing and strengthening the good and the holy.

We have a responsibility to educate our children to live in the world as it is. But, simultaneously, we have to set essential boundaries, both for their mental health and for the values of Judaism and morality that we seek to instill in them. Part of this responsibility deals with what we want to expose our children to and what we don’t.

Another part of the responsibility deals with instilling positive coping strategies, and increasing positive forces to ensure that they build sufficient internal strength to shape a healthy, balanced, and mature soul. ■

The writer is the rabbi of the Western Wall and holy sites.