The day after Yom Kippur, so where do we go from here? - opinion

So we have “done” Yom Kippur. Most of us fasted, some of us prayed, hopefully we all did some soul-searching, and no doubt everyone contemplated the 50-year anniversary of the Yom Kippur War and the lessons learned.

It was a 25-hour oasis of tranquility, with no cars on the road, no national radio or TV, no shopping malls, just us, our families, and our communities – and our own spark of Godliness.

Probably, one way or another we resolved to improve ourselves in some way, maybe physical, maybe spiritual.

But what now? Where do we go from here?

How do we hang on to that precious peacefulness, that calm in a mad world that seems to be hurtling forward with technological advancements into an out-of-control spin?

For the last 40 days, since the beginning of Elul, we have been speaking about teshuva, a Hebrew concept that means “return” or “repentance.” On Yom Kippur itself, we shouted out that teshuva, together with prayer and charity can change the world. Indeed teshuva, which really means “return” holds an urgent message for our time. 

Beyond its religious connotations, teshuva invites us to consider returning to a better, more civil era – a time when manners, courtesy, and the art of conversation were the norm rather than the exception.

As we grapple with the consequences of our rapid technological progress, it becomes evident that not all that glitters is gold. While the benefits of technology are undeniable, it has also ushered in an era of aggressive debates, divisive rhetoric, and a disconnection from the values that once held society together. Teshuva, in this context, becomes a plea – a plea for a return to the core principles of civility and genuine human connection.

In today’s world, it’s easy to observe that the art of conversation has morphed into something unrecognizable. Debates, once characterized by respect and a genuine exchange of ideas, have often degenerated into aggressive verbal duels. Social media platforms amplify this phenomenon, providing fertile ground for heated and often offensive arguments that polarize society. Teshuva calls for a return to a time when disagreements were civil, and the aim was not to “win” the argument but to deepen understanding.

One can’t help but notice the erosion of manners in our fast-paced, tech-driven lives. Simple acts of courtesy, like holding doors open for strangers or saying “please” and “thank you,” are increasingly rare. Teshuva encourages us to return to a time when such gestures were commonplace, reminding us that these small acts of kindness can have a significant impact on our collective well-being.

Our addiction to screens and technology is undeniable. Hours spent on smartphones, tablets, and computers have taken us away from the real world, reducing face-to-face interaction and authentic connections. Teshuva urges us to return to a life where the majority of our time is not spent in front of screens but in the presence of loved ones, in the beauty of nature, and in meaningful conversations.

Voice-activated assistants like Alexa and Google have become fixtures in many households, and while these devices offer convenience, they also represent a shift away from direct human interaction. Teshuva encourages us to reevaluate our reliance on technology for even the simplest tasks and to return to a time when we engaged with one another, not just with machines.

In Jewish tradition, teshuva is often associated with repentance – a return to one’s moral and ethical roots. Similarly, in the broader context of our society, teshuva can be seen as a call to return to our foundational values of respect, kindness, and genuine human connection. It is a reminder that, amid all our technological marvels, the core of our humanity remains unchanged.

A heartwarming scene

YESTERDAY, MY wife and I found ourselves outside the Beit Knesset, where we witnessed a heartwarming scene. A 12-year-old boy, accompanied by his father, had come for his very first bar-mitzvah lesson with the rabbi. This rabbi was a familiar and loved face to the boy, known from both school and the Beit Knesset.

As they met, the Rabbi’s instinctual response was to embrace the young boy warmly, his face lighting up with a broad smile as he bestowed his blessings on this momentous occasion. My wife and I exchanged a quiet conversation, expressing concerns about whether such a physical display of affection was appropriate in today’s world without prior consent.

It was a telling moment for us, reflecting on the sad reality that genuine expressions of joy and affection can sometimes be misconstrued in our contemporary society. We mused over the idea that we long for a return to a less cynical time, when gestures like these were taken at face value, unburdened by suspicions of ulterior or sinister motives. In essence, we yearned for an era when things were what they appeared to be, untainted by skepticism – a simpler and more innocent time.

Embracing teshuva in the context of our modern lives, the day after the heights of Yom Kippur may seem challenging, but it is far from impossible. Here are some practical steps to help us return to a more civil, connected, and meaningful way of life:

• Mindful use of technology: Rather than completely shunning technology, we can strive for mindful and purposeful use. Set aside designated times for screen use and ensure that they do not interfere with face-to-face interactions or quality time with loved ones.
• Active listening practice: In conversations, we can make a conscious effort to truly listen to what the other person is saying, rather than planning our response. Empathetic listening fosters understanding and more civil exchanges of ideas.
• Reviving manners and courtesies: Simple acts of politeness can go a long way in restoring civility. Let us make it a point to practice good manners in our daily interactions. A good start, here in Israel, would be to allow other road users access instead of doing everything you can not to let them in!
• Reconnect with nature: Spending time in nature can be a powerful way to reconnect with the world around us. Take walks, hike, or simply sit in a park to appreciate the beauty and tranquility of the natural world.
• Prioritize face-to-face interaction: Make a conscious effort to prioritize face-to-face interactions with family and friends. Share meals, engage in meaningful conversations, and build deeper connections.
• Promote civil discourse: Encourage civil discourse in your social circles and online communities. Avoid personal attacks, seek common ground, and focus on the issues rather than the individuals.
• Lead by example: Going forward through the year, we can all be a role model for those around us. Show kindness, practice civility, and prioritize genuine human connections. 

Your actions can inspire others to do the same.

The writer, a rabbi, lives in Ramat Poleg, Netanya, and is a co-founder of Techelet – Inspiring Judaism.