My family's Jewish day school story - opinion

In my professional life, I spend most of my days reading and crafting stories about Jewish day schools. Yet sending my kids to Jewish day school was a real sticking point for me as I entered the Orthodox Jewish world in my 20s. 

As I try to build a communications strategy that represents the full depth and beauty of a day school experience to a world that often underestimates its brilliance, I ask myself: “What words could have convinced me that the value of the Jewish day school experience was so fundamental to the growth and life of a Jewish child to make it worth finding other ways to nurture competing ideals that I held so deeply?”

As a young adult, led by my values and ideals and over experience, I was certain that public schools were the only choice for my future family. I believe in strong public education, and I wanted my children to have deep connections and relationships with those outside the Jewish community.

I almost didn’t make many of the life choices that shaped my beautiful family because I did not want my children to associate exclusively with other Jewish children for so much of their lives. It felt counterintuitive.

Raised in a secular household, I had not learned much of anything Jewish beyond the Passover story, which we rushed through to get to the waiting brisket, so it was hard to imagine exactly what I was missing.

More of a Jewish education

However, I knew I wanted my children to have more Jewish education than I had; to have friends who could play with them on Shabbat to make it more fun; and to know all of the stories that make up our heritage. I also wanted them to have an easy inroad to a spiritual life and a connection to God – things I had to work hard for, not having the background myself. Weighing the decision of where to send my children to school, the internal conflict grew and changed. Community and connection pulled against my other deeply held values. 

Having the true honor of being a day school parent for the past 15 years, as well as a day school board president for three, and supporting hundreds of day schools through my professional work, I feel so blessed that I made the choice to give my kids the invaluable experience of learning, growing, and thriving in Jewish day school, even though it felt so risky and unknown. 

Like the 72% of Jewish families who switched their children to Jewish day schools during COVID-19 because of the in-person attendance they provided – and stayed because they loved the experience afforded their children – I am constantly surprised by how valuable my children’s Jewish education experience really is. 

THEY HAVE flourished in ways that they never could have in another environment. They have gained skills, knowledge, and life experience only available for Jewish children in Jewish day schools. They are able to engage in complicated discussions about differences and history in an educated, fact-based way. 

My high school-aged kids have a nuanced understanding of Israeli history and politics, so crucial during this war, and the language to talk about their Jewish values and how they influence their perspectives on humanitarian issues and devastation worldwide. 

They have made deep connections with their Jewish and Israeli teachers and peers, and have been gifted with the knowledge and the confidence to build relationships with those who do not belong to their Jewish world and navigate the challenging conversations that these relationships can surface.

Most importantly, they have spent the majority of every day in a space where they can be their authentic selves, unapologetically. 

They have seen and felt how the Jewish community comes together in times of crisis. Through the clouds of fear and hatred that swirl around them because of their Jewish heritage, they feel the embrace of Jewish community as they seek comfort in hard and scary times. 

While the deep impact this will have on their future success is impossible to measure, I am certain that it is invaluable in being able to stand up for the things they believe in; and to identify and speak up against hate wherever it exists. 

As I try to tease out the messages and themes that will be most compelling, I think about all the schools and all the stories. There are so many individual stories, that it’s hard to choose among them or to weave them all into one and still capture the joy, the comfort, the confidence, and the pure magnitude of impact experienced through a Jewish day school education. 

Perhaps, a change of perspective is needed. It’s not really one “day school story” we are trying to tell. It’s 300+ schools’ stories. It’s 90,000 day-school students’ stories. It’s hundreds of thousands of parents’ and grandparents’ stories. It’s millions of day-school alumni stories. It’s the singular most important story of all – the story of a strong Jewish future.

We have to reach every corner of the community with this simple message: “Come. You will be so grateful that you did.” And then, as a community, we have to invest in making sure that remains true. 

We must begin now. This is my story, and my children’s stories, and their children’s stories. Join me. Tell your story. 

The writer is senior director of brand strategy for Prizmah: Center for Jewish Day Schools, was day school trustee and board president at Ben Porat Yosef in Paramus, NJ, and has extensive experience in Jewish nonprofit leadership and Jewish day schools.