Coping with cancer in war time is another battle for children - opinion

A few days ago, we held a meeting of our support group for parents of children participating in our spring camp in Cyprus – a seven-day journey away from the hospitals and the scary and painful treatments.

They were a mixed group of people – religious and secular, married, divorced, wives of drafted soldiers – some with a young child, some with a child post-army (our campers are aged six to 25) – a wide representation of Israeli society. These parents all have one thing in common – they have a child with cancer.

The topic of the meeting was how the mere anticipation of joining the camp (postponed because of the war) affected the children. 

One of the mothers told us about her 15-year-old daughter, diagnosed around Rosh Hashana. After the initial weeks of shock, she was just beginning to return to herself, when war broke out and really set her back. She stayed in bed all day long, staring at the ceiling; she wouldn’t eat and didn’t want to see her friends or to even spend time with the family. Her only breaks from her room were to go for treatment.

The other parents could all identify with this story – they shared how coping with cancer is hard enough in normal times, but the war has made it that much harder. Even if they didn’t personally know any of the people at the music festival, or a soldier, a captive, or one of the many murdered victims, the heavy mood surrounding them affected them badly.

We, at Zichron Menachem, are acutely aware that cancer patients, especially youngsters, need joy and happiness in their lives in order to be able to fight death. I saw it myself with my son Menachem, of blessed memory, who deteriorated rapidly once he gave up hope. 

For the past four decades, we have been bringing joy and hope every day to children with cancer, through trips, fun activities, and three overseas camps every year. This also gives the exhausted parents a break, they can get to enjoy a date night while we’re taking care of their kids and they know they don’t need to worry about them.

During these difficult days, travel is limited, money is short for everyone, the security situation is tense, and it’s hard to raise people’s spirits.

Excitement from children for the camp

The mother I mentioned above told me that from the minute the doctor called, saying her daughter could attend camp, she had become a different child. Every morning she reorganized her suitcase, unpacking and repacking, changing her mind daily about which clothes to bring and whether to pack her makeup or to wait for the excitement of buying it duty-free at the airport; deciding how she wanted to look in the photos.

She was thinking about what the food would be like in the hotel, and she was so excited about spending Shabbat at camp. 

Meanwhile, at home, she was making sure to eat well and take her medications so she would be strong enough to go. That’s the uplifting effect that the mere anticipation can have on the children. 

I explained this at a meeting of our volunteers before camp. I wanted them to understand that for the week of camp, we take the place of the medical team. What the doctors inject into their veins, we inject into their souls – the anticipation, the excitement, the fun, and the welcome break from hospitals, tests, fear, and loneliness.

As soon as we get back to Jerusalem after camp we’re holding our Braids of Power campaign that helps us collect hair donations to make wigs for every cancer patient in Israel who wants one. 

The war has had its effect here too, and we’re seeing a big reduction in people willing to donate. I can understand it. In times like these everyone needs to stick to the familiar, and it’s not easy to part with 30 cm. of hair, it’s part of one’s identity. 

We see, each day, how much our patients need us – now more than ever. With the war still raging, our role is more crucial than ever. Not just that of our organization, but of Israeli society as a whole. Of course, we mustn’t bury our heads in the sand, and we must continue to support all our security, rescue, and emergency forces and the people still displaced from their homes around the country. 

All of our fighters need our help, but let’s not forget those among us who are fighting day in and day out, in summer and winter, in peacetime and now even in war, against a bitter enemy that can strike anyone, anywhere, anytime.

The writer is a co-founder and serves as chairman of Zichron Menachem.