Amid wartime despair, Israelis need to stop being ungrateful and be happy - opinion

As our beloved country, Israel, marks 76 years while waging war against Iran and its proxies Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis, it is easy to give way to depression and forget the good things in our lives. I always envied the Americans celebrating their Thanksgiving holiday, which was never part of our tradition in my native Australia. Nevertheless, it always sounded wonderful to me. It originally began as a day of giving thanks for the blessing of the harvest the previous year. Pilgrims who emigrated from England in the 1620s carried the tradition with them to New England. I used to read about Macy’s parade in New York, the luscious food – turkey with cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie – and the family get-togethers, and wish that I had something similar to celebrate. 

I wonder who remembers from their childhood a series of books about Pollyanna. Even though Eleanor H. Porter published the books in America in 1913, they were still wildly popular when I was a child decades later. Pollyanna was an 11-year-old orphan who was the eternal optimist, even while living with her strict, unsmiling maiden aunt. She managed to be glad and give thanks for the most horrendous things. Little girl fans set up Glad Clubs all over the US, and even in Australia where I lived. I never joined because when Pollyanna was “glad” that she broke her leg and was given crutches instead of the doll she craved, she became just too goody-goody for me to swallow.

But some of the “gladness” seems to have stayed. Certainly on awakening each morning, at my advanced age, I’m always glad of, and give thanks for, another day. Orthodox Jews give thanks after every meal and recite blessings for many good things throughout the day. In Asian culture, bowing is a way to say thanks, just as Hindus place their palms together, bring them to their face, and nod. In Bali, the Lomban Festival is held by fishermen to give thanks to the sea. In each case, the underlying message is that of giving thanks for how wonderful and surprising and miraculous life is, with each new day an opportunity for fulfillment, friendship, and happiness.You can’t help feeling glad and grateful for blue skies and sunshine; the endless waves of the ocean rolling onto the shore; the dewdrops in the heart of a rose; stars scattered like diamonds across the night sky; trees donning new green lace at the approach of spring.

Lack of gratitude causes trauma and unhappiness

Giving thanks can be a secret weapon and a tool for protecting mental stability and promoting health. A huge amount of modern life’s trauma and unhappiness stems from a simple lack of gratitude. The fact of life itself is amazing enough. We only become unhappy when we indulge in the “me” culture of “I deserve more”; “I want something for nothing”; “I want compensation.” Counting our blessings is the best way to avoid the self-absorption that can lead to an unfulfilled life, serious depression, even emotional or physical breakdown. 

Giving thanks is part of an instinct for survival because it’s useful and vital to be thankful for the world around us. It helps keep balance through the sticky mire of life when there are troubles, losses, or sadness that beset us all at some time. Yet there’s always something to be glad about. There are many strategies to keep you optimistic. Set aside just 10 minutes a day to focus on the good things in your life. Make a list if you like. This is an effective mood-boosting technique. 

Savor just being alive. Remember those millions who are worse off than yourself in third world countries. We have food and water and shelter, and these things should never just be taken for granted.

Show appreciation to family and friends who are always there for you. Say “Thank you” often, such as to the bus driver who lets you off at your stop. Buy some pretty “Thank you” cards and send them to deserving friends. This is a powerful, emotional way to clarify the really important things in your life. 

Comparing ourselves to people who have more is a recipe for misery. Remember, envy is one of the seven deadly sins, and money has never been proven to increase happiness. Relish life’s little pleasures... a cup of tea, a piece of chocolate, freshly laundered sheets, a bud that bursts into flower in your garden, the blessing of hot water. Be aware of them instead of dismissing them as trivial. Finally, put things in proportion. Counting your blessings will help you when you must confront difficulties. You’ll see the bigger picture and find that you have more going for you than you ever imagined. ■

Dvora Waysman is the author of 14 books. She can be contacted at dwaysman@gmail.com.