How can Jewish tradition help navigate differences in today's divided world? - opinion

Six months after completing an online course, Rabbi Jenni Greenspan of Columbia, Maryland (a suburban city between Baltimore and Washington, DC) prepared a Tikkun Leil Shavuot (Shavuot study session) for congregants and guests at Beth Shalom Congregation. 

Crafting a late-night program in which participants are asked to think deeply about a serious topic is no easy task. Her three-part program was her iteration of the Mahloket Matters Fellowship project, the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies’ pioneering curriculum and methodology on the Jewish approach to constructive dialogue (mahloket means “disagreement”). 

Rabbi Greenspan and a dozen of her rabbinic colleagues across denominations participated in one of Pardes’ three Mahloket Matters Fellowship cohorts offered in the weeks immediately following October 7.

Rabba Shani Gross, senior director of education at Pardes and the group’s facilitator, noted, “This diverse group of clergy, spanning a variety of denominations and political backgrounds, all appeared shaken but also hungry for resources to help navigate the path ahead.” 

The group knew that our subject matter, constructive discourse, would become increasingly important as the war unfolded and individuals began to take strong stances on both sides. 

One participant felt that after getting through the High Holy Days, and then, after October 7, “It was like having run a marathon, getting to the finish line, and then being told there was going to be no bus and having to run the whole way back.” 

Today, we continue to see more and more communities craving and utilizing approaches to engage in difficult conversations with respect. They are not alone – over half of the fellowship’s participants since its inception have been rabbis – a group uniquely poised to meet this challenge in Jewish spaces.

Clergy are exceptionally positioned to bring this content to their communities, places we often hope are safe to explore disagreements within almost-familial-level relationships. Over one-third of the projects that fellows undertake occur in congregations and Hillels [Hillel International is the largest Jewish campus organization in the world], with the remainder in the context of Jewish communal work. It is clear that the ability to engage constructively while maintaining relationships speaks to those who value their partners and colleagues in Jewish communal settings (Federations, JCCs, Jewish day schools).

Exploring contentious topics to value other viewpoints

DURING THE fellowship’s eight sessions, participants and faculty explore contentious subjects – one of the first was a discussion on whether or not to meet with another party. Sometimes sitting down at the same table is the best way to tackle an issue, but we see at the same time it can legitimize or justify the other as an equal when we may not believe they deserve that endorsement. 

Very early on, our faculty posed the question “Does every viewpoint deserve to be heard?” 

This concept gives an individual permission to say no if they do not think the opposition is coming to the table with a similarly constructive mindset. Even if there are theoretically “good people on both sides,” that does not mean that we need to abandon our boundaries.

In an increasingly polarized world, making space for constructive disagreement is crucial in maintaining community. Unanimity, or even consensus, is not the goal, but rather preserving and – if possible – nurturing relationships. 

One of the fellowship’s hallmark components is a mock Sanhedrin (biblical judicial assembly) experience. After exploring the criteria for becoming a member of this ancient court, fellows took their turns practicing advocating for both perspectives – not only arguing one side of a given situation. One participant shared, “It was great to go through the process of finding the reasons in an educated way and not just because ‘This feels right to do.’” Making space for both logic and feelings to sit awkwardly side-by-side is a hallmark of the Mahloket Matters experience.

By this point in the fellowship, fellows have explored whether or not to have a contentious conversation; how to set communal norms and standards for a conversation; how to extend the invitation; and how to create a physical space conducive to maintaining relationships across differing opinions. This scaffolding is applicable to almost any contentious situation from start to finish. 

Our fellows are now able to ask the questions: “Is this engagement worth my emotional bandwidth?”; “Is the other party interested in working together, or just being heard?”; and even “How can I find common ground with someone who holds values so arguing not only one side of a given situation but different from my own?”

This is not a challenge that is going to disappear. In anticipation of a better future, Amy Benarroch, education director of the Fig Tree independent Jewish education program in Brooklyn, integrated the Mahloket Matters Teens curriculum into its B’nai Mitzvah program. Amy noted that a middle school student who found this work extremely moving not only remembered it months later but also shared the following at their closing program of the year: 

“One thing I learned was machloket l’shem shamayim. That means ‘arguments for the sake of heaven.’ Basically, when you argue for something, you argue with ideas, not people. This is important because sometimes as Jews we get carried away and forget to keep our minds on Earth. This will carry on into my life because it’s important to remember that everyone deserves dignity.” 

THE CURRENT [presidential] election cycle, one could argue, is missing that dignity. We have all witnessed or heard secondhand stories of name-calling, insults, and character assassination. While the topics at play are indeed worthy of continued debate and discussion, the manner in which many engage in political rhetoric is not in the spirit of mahloket l’shem shamayim. The Mahloket Matters Fellowship and other offerings seek to reclaim the personal kavod (honor/respect) we know exists – it just needs to be elevated once again.

Holding differing opinions is not new for the Jewish people, and the Mahloket Matters Fellowship brings our textual heritage, social psychology, and issues of immediate relevance to North American communities, both Jewish and wider. Fellows created more than 60 of these projects throughout the United States, Canada, and Mexico, which include partnerships with 20 congregations, 10 Hillels, and 22 other Jewish institutions. Each one is an important effort to tone down rhetoric that is purely divisive, and even hateful, and instead engage in disagreements in a constructive, caring manner. 

The writer, a rabbi (monica@pardes.org), serves as the assistant director of programs at the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies.