Balancing mourning and memory: October 7 commemoration risks overwhelming grief - comment

Jews excel at historical memory. It is one of the keys to their survival as a people.

Dispersed to the four corners of the earth, Jews stayed together by commemorating the nation’s joyous days, it miraculous days, and its tragic ones.

The recently concluded Sukkot holiday commemorates, among other things, the wanderings in the desert; Shavuot, the giving of the Torah; and Pesach—the quintessential national day of memory—marks the Exodus from Egypt.

But the Jewish calendar is not only full of days commemorating Divine revelation or national days of triumph (Hanukkah and Purim); it also includes days of mourning, fasting, and grief.

Tisha B’Av is the quintessential day of mourning, when—among other calamities—Jews fast and recite lamentations over the destruction of the First and Second Temples. The sages instituted other fast days to mark historical tragedies as well: the fast of Gedalia, the 10th of Tevet, and the 17th of Tamuz.

The rebirth of the State of Israel introduced new days to the Jewish calendar, both festive and mournful.

Mourning for October 7 amid existing days of remembrance

The festive day is Independence Day, observed on the Hebrew—not Gregorian—date of the 5th of Iyar. Remembrance Day for the Fallen of Israel’s Wars comes a day earlier, reinforcing the link between independence and sacrifice. It is a one-two punch—an emotional whiplash—but it sends a clear message for generations: Jewish independence comes at a high cost.

Then there is Holocaust Remembrance Day, which is a solemn and heavy day marked a week earlier.

There is, therefore, a mix of festive and mournful days in the Israeli year. Now another one has been added—October 7th. But the question is: should it be commemorated on October 7th (the Gregorian date) or the Hebrew date, the 22nd of Tishrei, Simchat Torah?

Since Simchat Torah is a festive holiday, the national mourning day cannot coincide with it. By government decision, it was set for the 24th of Tishrei. However, this year, the 24th falls on Friday, so the national day of mourning is being observed today (Sunday).

It is important to set aside a day to remember the Hamas atrocities of October 7—to honor those who fell, those kidnapped and still held captive, and those who have died since in the war Hamas began on that quiet Simchat Torah morning.

Yet, there is such a thing as too much sorrow, and the country is skirting that line.

October 7 was already marked solemnly, with special programming on radio and television, and two central memorial events—one organized by families of victims and another by the government. Both were broadcast, and both were almost unbearably sad, reflecting the collective anguish.

Then, on Simchat Torah, over 1,200 people marked the first yahrtzeit of loved ones killed by Hamas terrorists, with special prayers and hakafot in synagogues and public spaces across the country. It was a heavy day, as the nation struggled to balance the joy of the holiday with grief over last year’s events.

In the days between October 7 and Simchat Torah, more soldiers fell, adding to the overwhelming national sense of sorrow -- adding yet another day commemorating October 7 this year seems unnecessary.

When determining how to commemorate October 7, traditional Jewish mourning laws serve as a useful guide. These laws are structured to gradually guide the mourner back to everyday life—a seven-day mourning period, followed by 30 days of eased rituals, and then an 11-month period of gradual return to normalcy.

There is also a limit—don’t extend the shiva period to 14 days, for example, or stretch the year of mourning to 18 months. Excessive mourning can become overwhelming.

This wisdom is relevant now. Policymakers must recognize the existing days of mourning in the Jewish calendar. Adding one for October 7 is fitting, but adding two or three might weigh too heavily on a nation already burdened with grief.

As Ecclesiastes, read on Sukkot, teaches: there is a time for weeping and a time for laughter. There is a time to mourn the events of October 7, but it must be done in measure. We want the nation to remember, but not to drown in sorrow. Many days of mourning already exist on the Jewish calendar; adding another is both fitting and necessary, but adding three as was the case this year (October 7, Simchat Torah and the 25th of Tishrei) is too much.