Simchat Torah: Using joy to overcome pain

The recent Oct. 7 anniversary events presented many tragic stories about the horrifying incidents that occurred one year ago. In last weekend’s Magazine, Michael Freund wrote an excellent article explaining why we must dance again on Simchat Torah.

He noted, “The scars left on our collective psyche are still raw and painful. The horrific events of that day continue to cast a heavy shadow over our people – as they will likely do to the end of time.” Freund ends his article with an important message to us all. “If Jews in the midst of battle in Sinai, persecuted by the Soviets in Moscow, or surrounded by death in Auschwitz celebrated Simchat Torah despite it all, then we can and must follow their example.”

This advice is right on point. We can’t allow ourselves to stop celebrating one of the most joyful days in the Jewish calendar. Our collective spiritual and emotional survival depends on not putting the brakes on this year’s Simchat Torah celebrations. But how do we do this emotionally when our trauma is hovering both inside and over our collective souls?

How do we use psychological theory to approach Simchat Torah?

Psychological theory offers some important understanding of how we can approach this year’s Simchat Torah. For many, I hope, Freund’s advice will be possible; for others, it may be more difficult. Let me explain.

In his classic book Beyond the Pleasure Principle (1920), Sigmund Freud postulated and described a biological mechanism called the stimulus barrier. The stimulus barrier is a psychological shield that Freud believed protects an infant from an overabundance of stimuli that a newborn is unable to handle. Freud believed that this biological mechanism helps us understand how babies survive the birth experience and the stimulation of their early psychological development. 

This concept is really quite remarkable. In fact, babies are born with varying levels of this protective shield; some may easily be overstimulated by the external world, while others may be understimulated. We often refer to this phenomenon as a newborn’s temperament. All parents know that some babies are calm, and others are sensitive. Some babies cry a lot, and others are hyperalert and active. In essence, our personalities differ from birth.

I believe that the stimulus barrier is a core factor in understanding our differences in resilience. It helps us to understand why people cope differently when facing the same traumatic events. We can also understand that when a traumatic event like Oct. 7 occurs – or any terror attack or other trauma – people do not react the same way. So, for some people, celebrating and dancing again on Simchat Torah will be easier, and for others much harder, and for some, impossible.

Certainly, other experiences impact our resilience, such as family history and many events that we experience along life’s journey. However, the biology we are born with is a central factor influencing how people cope in moments of crisis. 

I NOW want to describe another psychological mechanism. First identified by Sigmund Freud (1894, 1896), reaction formation is one of the defense mechanisms that help the ego (the self) cope with emotional stress and anxiety when it needs to face a fearful but desired event, such as celebrating and dancing during this year’s Simchat Torah holiday.

Reaction formation enables individuals to express feelings or behaviors that are the opposite to their true emotions. I am certain most Israelis are anxious about this year’s Simchat Torah holiday.

For example, some people may say, “I don’t feel like participating in celebrations this year because I am in too much pain when I think about the day.” The defense mechanism of reaction formation helps the individual overcome the fear of being overwhelmed by trauma responses by doing the opposite and totally immersing oneself in the joy and celebration of the holiday.

It may seem counterintuitive. Instead of avoiding the celebration, the individual participates with positive and joyful feelings. The power of dancing with the Torah and community this year has the psychological potential to help get us back to ourselves. It shows a strong resolve to embrace the happiness of that day and not let anything take it away. Reaction formation serves the fearful and fragile self that wants to avoid by doing the opposite. 

CELEBRATING SIMCHAT Torah this year presents a special challenge to the Jewish community. It is not just about dancing; it will be beseeching Hashem to accentuate happiness and joy and reduce our collective feelings of sadness. 

One year after the tragic events, many have found strength in their faith and community. For instance, Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson highlighted how the aftermath of the massacre has led to a deeper sense of resilience and faith among the Jewish community (chabad.org, Oct. 13). This resilience is often expressed through joyous celebrations and communal gatherings, which serve as a powerful counterbalance to the fear and sorrow experienced.

Additionally, the communal prayers and memorial prayers during Yom Kippur and the High Holy Days have taken on new meanings, blending personal loss with collective grief. This has helped many individuals process their emotions in a supportive environment, turning a time of fear into one of solidarity and hope. 

I hope the two psychological mechanisms described above give the reader a deeper understanding of how we cope and why many can heed Freund’s advice and celebrate Simchat Torah this year with joy and optimism. After all, this serves as our hidden weapon to prevent terrorism from completely destroying us and weakening our spirituality.

The healing journey is therefore one of returning to wholeness by reconnecting with ourselves. 

The writer is a cognitive-behavioral adult and couples psychotherapist, with a sub-specialty in treating soldiers and civilians suffering from current wartime trauma. He sees clients in Ra’anana and at his Jerusalem clinic. drmikegropper@gmail.com; www.facebook.com/drmikegropper