Oct7KIDS: A nonprofit helping kids manage emotions amid wartime trauma - opinion

As a result of the devastation suffered on Oct. 7, many Israelis across the country, shocked and disbelieving, have lost their usual stoic stability and sense of security. There has clearly been a broad and significant impact on the mental health of the Israeli population.

A Lancet medical journal study comparing statistics prior to the massacre with those just one month after indicates that cases of general anxiety, PTSD, and depression have more than doubled. As Operation Swords of Iron drags on and our hostages remain captive, the number of these cases continues to rise. Most vulnerable are our children.

During the Second Intifada (2000-2005), I founded the nonprofit KidsForKids (K4K) to assist in the recovery of young victims of terrorism. At the time, John James, author of The Grief Recovery Handbook, flew to Israel to train 16 of our K4K staff who were then able to conduct successful programs, addressing the terrifying subject with children and their parents. K4K translated The Grief Recovery Handbook into Hebrew and handed out 1,000 copies.

Helping children out after October 7

JUST WEEKS after the Oct. 7 massacre, I found myself telling the 13-year-old sister of a hostage: “I have a granddaughter exactly your age in Florida whose father is in Gaza right now, looking for your brother. I think the two of you have a lot in common.” The moment I uttered those words, the notion of founding another nonprofit organization, Oct7KIDS, began to take shape. The need for such an organization like Oct7KIDS, focusing on our younger generation’s mental health and psychological well-being was clear.

A major principle of Oct7KIDS is the understanding that our children are not victims but rather their own best “heroic champions.” That is why all Oct7KIDS programs aim at empowerment, self-reliance, and healthy, independent thinking. The children may need professional, well-thought-out help, but each is capable of the goal: managing his or her own emotional well-being.

Obviously, one-size therapy does not fit all children. To that end, specific modalities were chosen from the array of treatments in the field today, which can address each child’s individual perspectives and needs.

FOR INSTANCE, a child with a diagnosis of PTSD needs therapy addressing that specific issue, while a youngster suffering from general anxiety, depression, or grief would require separate programs. Then, there are the children whose behavior and reactions to trivial situations have been altered, often resulting in episodes of lashing out in anger or fear. Each issue requires specific solutions.

For those suffering from PTSD, the board of Oct7KIDS chose the remarkably effective Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR). Dr. Shifra Wohlgelernter, a neuropsychologist on the Oct7KIDS advisory board, has developed a program implementing EMDR in a group setting. 

EMDR does not require talking in detail about the traumatic incident itself. Rather, it treats the mental conditions that materialize due to the memories of that experience. The goal of this therapy is to change the emotions, thoughts, and behavior resulting from a traumatic event, allowing the brain to resume its natural healing process.

We often mistakenly interchange the words “mind” and “brain.” Our brain is an organ in our body, while our mind is the pool of thoughts, memories, beliefs, and experiences that make up who we are. EMDR utilizes the brain’s communication network system of brain cells to re-regulate the mind back to the normal, stable state we had prior to the traumatic experience.

WHILE THE majority of Israeli children may not have been diagnosed with PTSD, after living through 12 months of war they may be operating with an internal environment of stress. This can lead to drastic changes in behavior. Whereas in the past they may have addressed common, everyday annoyances in a thoughtful, calm, cultured manner, now the child is often emotionally triggered, setting off negative, impulsive reactions. Many parents and teachers dealing with children like this feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and defeated, not knowing how to help the “out-of-control” child. 

FORTUNATELY, WITH a dynamic solution developed in the late 1930s by Dr. Abraham Low, children can, by using their own willpower, gain control over their negative behavior. Our Recovery Support Group program is based on Dr. Low’s work, accredited as the first cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Recovery International, which continues Low’s work, gave Oct7KIDS permission to translate into Hebrew its Power Your Mind (PYM) workbook, authored for youth by Angela Sullivan.

Oct7KIDS volunteer and talented Jerusalem graphic artist Tamar Cohen created the colorful cartoons depicting new scenarios of teens finding themselves in frustrating, uncomfortable situations.

Though the examples in PYM needed reworking to reflect the lifestyle of Israeli teens, the book adheres diligently to the principles of the Recovery Method. According to Low’s method, teens can learn through will training how to pause and choose alternative actions instead of overreacting to minor, irritating situations. The workbook and group meetings teach a virtual toolbox of secure thoughts, affirmations, and beliefs, called “spottings.” These tools make the difference between being out of control and being able to self-regulate for the tens of thousands of people practicing the Recovery Method throughout the years.

LET’S TAKE an example of how the Recovery Method might work with a 16-year-old evacuee from the North. 

Ari is on the way to meet Yossi, his friend from the high school they had to leave behind. As Ari is traveling on a bus, caught in traffic, his cheerfulness at the prospect of finally seeing his friend after six months begins to wear thin. The plan was to meet downtown and then go to a reunion party with old friends. Ari looks out the window and sees the road jammed, with cars at a standstill. His phone has run out of battery, so he can’t call Yossi to tell him what’s happening. It’s already past the scheduled meeting time, and the destination is still 20 minutes away – if the bus were moving.

But the only thing moving is the minute hand on Ari’s watch.

Ari begins to get worked up. Random, negative thoughts cloud his thinking. “Yossi is going to be angry I’m late. He’s going to leave without me. I’m going to be stuck on this bus forever,” he thinks.

“Horrible things always happen to me. Why didn’t I leave earlier?”

He starts sweating. His stomach feels queasy. Noticing shortness of breath, he becomes fearful of the heart palpitations he is experiencing.

Ari finally remembers what he learned in his recovery support group. He begins “spotting” secure thoughts that he has learned to replace his negative ones: “This is distressing, not dangerous. I spot that I am working this situation up rather than working it down. Horrible things don’t always happen to me: that’s temperamental lingo. This is a triviality. This is ‘phasic, not basic’ [meaning it will pass]. My secure thought is that if Yossi leaves without me, I have the address of the party and I’ll meet him there.”

By employing the tools of Recovery, Ari is able to exit his fearful, anxious state, entering a calmer, accurate reality. And lastly, Ari endorses himself for using his tools and willing himself into self-control.

ANOTHER OF the Oct7KIDS programs deals with grief recovery. A vast majority of adults find themselves at a loss when interacting with children coping with grief. Research conducted by Kent State University has shown that the Grief Recovery Method’s approach to dealing with the pain of emotional loss is effective and the only such method to be defined as “evidence-based.”

Oct7KIDS also uses art, itself a healing tool, according to Sara-Lidya Singer. Born in Paris, Singer has learned, taught, and exhibited her art throughout the world. Now living in Israel, profound compassion dictated her involvement with evacuee children. These kids, who had to flee their homes for safety, often express their deepest feelings in artwork during Singer’s sessions, which are held at the Italian Museum in Jerusalem. Early this year, Oct7KIDS sponsored the children’s art featured in an exhibition at the museum. A new crop of youngsters is scheduled to be supported by the organization in the program, with hopes of expanding Singer’s efforts by establishing additional classes in other locations. Drawing Close is Oct7KIDS’ Unity Project, a collaborative adventure and collective experience between Israeli children directly impacted by the violence and Diaspora children who are experiencing the troubling antisemitic response in many cities worldwide. The program is conducted through Jewish schools, synagogues, and community centers.

TEDDY BEARS can play a significant role in a child’s psychological well-being. There are two sides to our Bear-y Friend Forever (BFF) project. As children cuddle teddies for support in troubling times, the calm that descends on youngsters who suffer from fear, anxiety, or loneliness is visible. Two hundred bears are currently being readied for distribution. The other aspect of BFF is the greeting card tied around the cuddly toy’s neck with a yellow ribbon, honoring our hostages. Each card carries a heartfelt message of love, caring, encouragement, and unity, composed by other children. This project was inspired by Dr. Nina Myerhoff, founder and director of the Children of the Earth organization and a member of the Oct7KIDS board of advisors. A recognized humanitarian, Myerhoff has distributed thousands of bears to children in war-torn countries.

Several of our services are delivered by the adult leaders of our communities. Principals, teachers, guidance counselors, social workers, and youth movement leaders interact with children daily. Oct7KIDS staff learn from experts, then give over the material to the adult leaders, and in a cascade effect, therapeutic methods such as EFT and Recovery Method are taught to the youth.

Our website, oct7kids.org, offers guidance and can match you up with a modality that will help you or a family member. We welcome assistance from volunteer therapists, administrators, remote office workers, and others. For more information, email info@oct7kids.org.■

The writer is founder and director of Oct7KIDS. She can be reached at yeshara@oct7kids.org/