British study finds 'living apart together' boosts mental health for over-60s

A recent British study found that "living apart together" (LAT) relationships significantly boost the mental wellbeing of individuals aged 60 and over. The study, published Tuesday, sheds light on a new picture of intimate relationships among older adults and aims to "go beyond the household as the default unit of analysis," as reported by The Guardian.

Conducted by researchers from Lancaster University and University College London, the study is the largest of its kind, based on data from the UK Household Longitudinal Study. According to The Independent, the researchers tracked nearly 100,000 individuals aged 60 and over from 2011 to 2023, focusing on their relationships and mental health. They specifically examined how mental health varied across singlehood, marriage, cohabitation, and LAT arrangements among older adults.

The arrangement known as "living apart together" allows couples to be in a serious relationship while maintaining separate addresses. While this lifestyle is often associated with younger people starting out in life, The Guardian reports that it is also adopted by individuals over 60 years old. The study indicates that older couples who meet at age 60 and above have better well-being when they live apart but together, challenging the perception that older people prefer more conventional arrangements like marriage or cohabitation.

Professor Yang Hu, co-author of the study, explained that LAT is "a sort of fine balance between intimate union and individual autonomy." Speaking to BFMTV, he said, "It allows individuals to still keep their commitments to existing family relationships, while leaving a space for them to have an intimate partner at a late stage in life."

The research found that both older women and men enjoy similar mental health benefits from living apart together, which is particularly beneficial for women compared to marriage. The Independent notes that previous research has shown that the mental health benefits of marriage and cohabitation are greater for men than for women, while LAT relationships are more gender-egalitarian. 

The study revealed that when people aged 60 and over form a new relationship, living apart together is the most popular choice. The Independent reports that for single older women, entering LAT is ten times more likely than marriage or cohabitation. For older men, it is nearly ten times more likely than marriage and about twenty times more likely than cohabitation. 

Many older adults prefer to live separately to avoid complex "decoupling" issues such as moving, division of property, and divorce proceedings, The Guardian reports.

Professor Yang Hu stated, "We need to acknowledge the strength of these ties stretching across households; they are really important in sustaining individuals' wellbeing." He emphasized that "household-centered governance has its limitations," particularly highlighted during the COVID-19 pandemic when the LAT population was "cut off," according to The Guardian. 

According to The Guardian, the study found that "exiting LAT is associated with smaller mental health declines compared to exiting cohabitation and marriage."

Real-life examples of LAT relationships among celebrities include actress Helena Bonham Carter and director Tim Burton, who lived separately but together during their 13-year relationship, as noted by LIFO. Additionally, actress Miriam Margolyes has lived apart from her partner Heather Sutherland for more than 50 years. The Guardian reports that last year, Margolyes stated that she and Sutherland wanted to cohabit.

"It's not new; it's new in terms of the attention being paid to it," Hu added. He noted that among older people who live apart together, 64% were living within 30 minutes of each other and were more gender egalitarian. According to The Guardian, he said, "In terms of numbers there are many more younger people living apart together, but they do that under completely different circumstances."

This article was written in collaboration with generative AI company Alchemiq