All for the best? Sometimes positive thinking does more harm than good

If someone were to ask what the most Israeli sentence is, the answer would probably be "it will be fine." A phrase that could easily replace this answer is "all for the best." You can also substitute "positive thinking brings positive outcomes." And of course, "positive thought creates positive reality."

Some are universal and less unique to Israel, but they all reflect this great concept called "positive thinking." 

Positive thinking: These two words have, in recent years, probably been heard more than the word gaslighting, and are the topic of countless self-help and reference books. Positive thinking was presented and is still presented, as a key ingredient to success and happiness.

The basic idea is that by focusing on positive thoughts and a positive attitude, we can overcome obstacles, achieve goals, and live a fuller, more fulfilling life. While positive thinking certainly has significant value and importance, and it can help us face all the different challenges and difficulties that life throws at us. It can also come with a cost that should not be ignored if it accidentally becomes the only way of thinking.

Is positivity toxic?

One important factor is that an excess of positive thinking can lead to unrealistic expectations. When you're constantly focused on only the positive, you may begin to believe that everything will always happen and work out in your favor, and in the way you want them to.

Since life doesn't follow a plan, we often find ourselves unprepared for life's challenges, difficulties, and obstacles. That unpreparedness has the potential to hurt us when it happens.

Even in life, our encounters with difficulties and challenges will be inevitable - it is not a question of if but of when, so we should still take this into account and be ready to face this.

In addition to this, quite a few people experience real pressure from the environment to constantly maintain a positive mindset, a pressure that can lead to severe feelings of guilt, self-doubt and even failure when we fail to think positively.

Positive thinking can also cause "toxic positivity." This is a combination of words that seem strange at first because how can positivity be toxic? However, it can be related to significant emotional damage that is caused by the need to be positive. 

When our society and environment encourage us, not to mention pressure us, to focus exclusively on positive thoughts and positive feelings, an almost inevitable result of this is the suppression of anything that is not positive. Are you sad? Don't be, be happy.

On the surface, ignoring and suppressing negative feelings may sound like a good idea, but for your mental health, it is negative and can lead to alienation and disconnection from your emotions. It can also feel like the rejection of any feeling that is not positive.

In addition, it may create a society and culture where individuals cannot express their struggles and difficulties, nor can they ask for help (because come on, be happy, we came to uplift and not be depressed!)

This can be especially devastating for those who are dealing with emotional and mental health issues.

Positive thinking can also lead to erosion in critical thinking - our ability to see the full picture and a variety of possible factors and weigh them in a way that leads to a positive result. When we focus on positive thinking and positive outcomes, we are less likely to take into account or consider possible risks or negative consequences. 

How can positive thinking be negative? 

Positive thinking can lead not only to emotional detachment from ourselves but also to detachment from reality and the world. When the only thing we focus on is positive thoughts and a positive attitude, we are less likely to accept the (unfortunate) fact that the world and reality are not perfect, no matter how much we want them to be. There is still sickness, poverty, hunger, wars and evil.

They won't disappear and won't go anywhere if we ignore them and think about teddy bears, unicorns, and other positive things. Focusing exclusively on the positive things can lead to real denial and complacency, which can be especially harmful in situations where active action is required.

Whether it is a medical, social or environmental condition, focusing only on the positive and denying other details will not only not help, but will cause harm. One example of this is the climate crisis. Nothing will happen to the planet and environment even if we all together think that it will be okay. It will only change if thinking about it leads to action (for example to recycle, stop using disposable utensils, and generally change consumption habits).